Boyfriend has some­thing to hide

The Record (Troy, NY) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane

DEAR AN­NIE >> I have a ques­tion and hope your ad­vice will make me see the light. I have been dat­ing and liv­ing with my boyfriend off and on for 12 years. We cur­rently are liv­ing to­gether. I have left a cou­ple of times through­out the course of the 12 years be­cause he was on dat­ing sites and I found out. We just re­cently got back to­gether, and he told me that he’s no longer on dat­ing sites be­cause they aren’t free. I found on his phone that he has an ac­count on one site, but it is pri­vate.

Also, he tells me that though he loves me, he does not want to get mar­ried — that he likes our liv­ing ar­range­ment the way it is. But I swear he hides things. He does crazy things, and he gets de­fen­sive when I ques­tion him. He hides his phone some­times and will go on his phone af­ter I go to bed. I hon­estly don’t know what to think or do. He does come home from work ev­ery night, but I work Mon­day through Fri­day, and he has a day off dur­ing the week. Ev­ery week on this day, he turns his phone off all day. When I text, he doesn’t text back. When­ever I ask what he did that day, he says noth­ing, but he goes out to lunch all dressed up like a sin­gle man.

One day when I came home, it looked as if a woman had been in the house. A pic­ture of us to­gether had been moved. I asked him why it had been moved, and he said he had been look­ing at it. It looked like a heavy frame. Also, our bed­room clock is al­ways turned side­ways. I need ad­vice.

— Con­fused in Texas

DEAR CON­FUSED >> I can’t say for cer­tain that he’s been un­faith­ful, but it does seem as though he’s hid­ing some­thing. And if he’s cheated on you be­fore, your in­tu­ition is most likely highly at­tuned to the warn­ing signs. So lis­ten to that lit­tle voice in­side your head. Don’t let fear of change drown it out. I know it’s hard to leave some­one af­ter so long, but stay­ing would be so much harder on you in the long term. Tigers’ stripes, leop­ards’ spots, cheaters’ ways — some things never change.

DEAR AN­NIE >> To “Bet­ter Late Than Never?” — the man who asked you whether it’s too late for him to go to col­lege — the an­swer is it’s never too late. I de­cided to go to col­lege when I was 40. It took a lit­tle longer be­cause I had to work full time and at­tend classes at night, but I did it, and it was ab­so­lutely worth it! “Bet­ter Late Than Never?” may be able to get credit for life ex­pe­ri­ence and/ or take CLEP ex­ams to get out of hav­ing to take some cour­ses. Be­cause I had never at­tended col­lege be­fore, I qual­i­fied for help on tu­ition that was a “gift” that I didn’t have to pay back. This man can do a lit­tle re­search, find a col­lege that he thinks would be right for him and meet with a coun­selor. You go, guy!

— Been There, Done That

DEAR BEEN THERE, DONE THAT >> Con­grat­u­la­tions! I’m print­ing your words of en­cour­age­ment not just for “Bet­ter Late Than Never?” but for any adult won­der­ing about get­ting a de­gree later in life. Thank you.

“Ask Me Any­thing: A Year of Ad­vice From Dear An­nie” is out now! An­nie Lane’s de­but book — fea­tur­ing fa­vorite col­umns on love, friend­ship, fam­ily and eti­quette — is avail­able as a pa­per­back and e-book. Visit http://www. cre­ator­spub­lish­ing.com for more in­for­ma­tion. Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­nie@cre­ators.com.

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