Innocent man bears brunt of wife’s anger
Dear Abby: I’m a 55-year-old guy stranded in a tough marriage situation. My wife has had a serious falling-out with her father. After his wife of more than 50 years passed away, he immediately took up with an old flame and dumped his family in favor of his new lady’s family.
My wife now treats me like garbage. Apparently, “all men are dogs,” and if she passes away, I “obviously already have a girl lined up to take her place,” and, oh yeah, I plan to abandon my children in favor of the new woman’s family. I’m being painted with a very broad brush, and it is destroying our relationship.
My wife is angry and bitter all the time, and I feel abandoned. I love her dearly and don’t know what to do next, although I am thinking of punching out her father. Any thoughts are appreciated.
Stranded In California Dear Stranded: Your wife is now an “orphan.” She’s hurt, angry, and misdirecting her anger at her father onto you. Of course it is unfair to you. She needs counseling NOW, before she compounds her pain by destroying her marriage to you. Be smart and insist upon it.
getting a boyfriend
Dear Abby: I’m a fifth-grader, and I’d like to know something important to girls my age. I want to know how to get a guy to be my boyfriend and the steps to getting him. It’s hard for me to get a boyfriend.
I know what you’re going to say — I’m too young for boys. But if I am, I would like this information for future reference. I have tried other things. Nothing worked, and basically, you’re my last hope.
Planning Ahead In Bay City, Texas Dear Planning Ahead: OK, let’s review the basics. Are you neat and clean in your appearance? Are you fun to be around and liked by your classmates of both genders? Do you smile and say hello and show an interest?
Basically, the qualities that attract other girls are the same ones that will make boys pay attention. But there’s an important point to keep in mind, and it’s that while you may be developing an interest in boys, many of them may not be mature enough to have developed an interest in girls yet, so be patient. Focus on your studies, become involved in activities you enjoy, and things will happen naturally.
Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married 13 years and have two young sons. She’s a free spirit. She likes to independently make a lot of decisions that affect us both. This has led to arguments about what should or should not be decided on together.
We have had years of counseling with multiple professionals. Frankly, I feel she ignores my opinions and concerns if I don’t agree with her position on an issue. She will commit to a compromise, then turn around and do what she wants anyway.
Recently, she brought up having permanent eyebrow makeup done on an international trip she was taking without me. I asked her to wait until she returned so we could discuss it further before she jumped into it. Despite promising not to, she did it anyway, and I think it looks awful.
I’m left feeling my trust in her has been further damaged and I have a reminder of it staring me in the face on a daily basis. How can I trust her in the future? How can I get past looking at her ugly choice every day?
Disgusted In Arizona Dear Disgusted: If “years of counseling” haven’t worked for the two of you, I think it’s fair to conclude that you and your wife have a troubled marriage. While some might say that it’s your wife’s face and what she puts on it is her business, if a daily reminder of her broken promise to you is a deal-breaker, it may be time to consider whether you can forgive her or if it would be in everyone’s best interests to go your separate ways. In marriage there is supposed to be compromise. If you are staying because of your sons, take into consideration that because your relationship with your wife is dysfunctional, the tension your boys are exposed to on a daily basis is not healthy.
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by Jeanne Phillips)