AD­VICE Fed up with hus­band’s ad­dic­tion to game

The Saratogian (Saratoga, NY) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane

DEAR AN­NIE » Ever since “Poke­mon Go” came out, my hus­band has been spend­ing a lot of time play­ing it. Some­times he’s out for eight to 10 hours per day, in­clud­ing dur­ing the night, walk­ing around and at­tempt­ing to find Poke­mon for the game.

“M” is in his early 50s and has been a stay-ath­ome dad for the past seven years. Our life­style is fru­gal, and hav­ing one of us avail­able for the kids’ ac­tiv­i­ties has been use­ful. How­ever, if a se­ri­ous and ex­pen­sive is­sue were to arise, we would most likely strug­gle fi­nan­cially.

M is an ex­cel­lent fa­ther. But I strug­gle with the fact that for the past 1 ½ years, he’s been spend­ing eight-plus hours each day (in­clud­ing week­ends) play­ing a game. It’s a colos­sal waste of time, and I’m sick of it.

We’ve had mul­ti­ple con­ver­sa­tions about this. In the be­gin­ning, he said that he’d play un­til he reached some top level and then scale it down. Well, I sus­pect the game got mod­i­fied, be­cause it’s been over 1 ½ years. A cou­ple of times, he has said that he knows he is ad­dicted and that he won’t play that much any­more. But he still plays, and I don’t think he plans to stop. He knows I don’t like it when he spends so much time on this game but says that many smart peo­ple play, too, and that he wants to spend his time how he likes. And he thinks that I should be happy with our life and look else­where in my life to ex­plain my un­hap­pi­ness.

The thought that my hus­band is on his way to spend­ing sev­eral years of his life play­ing “Poke­mon Go” for eight or more hours each day gives me shiv­ers. I’m con­sid­er­ing sep­a­ra­tion or di­vorce. I would ap­pre­ci­ate your ad­vice.

— Dis­cour­aged in CA DEAR DIS­COUR­AGED » Your hus­band is ad­dicted to this game, and there’s no “next level” or “next achieve­ment” that’s go­ing to be enough for him. Lim­it­ing his game­play to a set amount of time per day isn’t re­al­is­tic. It would be akin to telling some­one with al­co­holism to try just hav­ing one beer. If he’s go­ing to quit, it will have to be cold turkey — delet­ing the app and even delet­ing his ac­count so he’s not able to re­store his data. I don’t think he’s ready for that step yet. Though he has ad­mit­ted he has a prob­lem, he doesn’t seem ready for help. You can im­plore him to go to coun­sel­ing or of­fer to go to cou­ples coun­sel­ing with him. You might also en­cour­age him to take a self-screen­ing test on the On-Line Gamers Anony­mous web­site (http >>//www.ol­ganon.org). I’d en­cour­age you to also visit the site your­self, as there is an OLG-Anon com­po­nent for fam­ily and friends.

Your hus­band is ad­dicted to this game, and there’s no “next level” or “next achieve­ment” that’s go­ing to be enough for him. Lim­it­ing his game­play to a set amount of time per day isn’t re­al­is­tic. It would be akin to telling some­one with al­co­holism to try just hav­ing one beer.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.