Late laughs
Conan
At last night’s VMA’s, Beyoncé’s album Lemonade, about her husband’s cheating, won seven awards. So the favorite to sweep the VMA’s next year is Huma Abedin.
Beyoncé won Best Pop Video, Best Female Video, Best Choreography, Breakthrough Longform Video, Best Direction, Cinematography, Editing and Video of the Year. Just for the hell of it, they threw in the Nobel Prize in Economics.
Donald Trump is challenging Hillary Clinton to release “detailed medical records.” This marks the first time Trump’s ever been interested in the body of a woman over 40.
A 25 year old has scammed over $1 million from Trump supporters. It’s being called “the first time in years that the Trump name has actually made someone money.”
The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon
Donald Trump is trying to turn his poll numbers around and recently told his supporters that if he’s elected, the White House will become the people’s house. He was like, “because I ain’t living in that dump. I’m going to get a mansion down the street and I’ll check in every other week.”
The CEO of Wendy’s says the election is hurting the chain’s burger sales. People are spending less because they are worried about the future. Let’s be honest here, if you’re eating a Wendy’s Baconator, you’re probably not too concerned about the future.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Mrs. Palin just posted on Facebook that she tripped and fell while doing something called “rock-running.” Not sure what rock-running is, but I think it’s when you jog while playing air guitar.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
On Sept. 26, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton will face off in a debate at Hofstra University. And this is interesting: the Clinton campaign is using psychology experts to create a personality profile of Trump to figure out what his approach might be. That seems crazy. Are they preparing for a debate or trying to catch a serial killer?
I actually love this [season’s “Dancing With the Stars”] lineup. Between the election and “DWTS,” the American people are now gonna get two chances to not vote for Rick Perry in one year!
Donald Trump took a quick trip to Mexico to meet with President Peña-Nieto. The Mexican president invited Trump to visit, and Donald took him up on it, which had to be a surprise. My guess is that it was kind of like when you invite a second cousin to your destination wedding and hope he won’t actually show up. Things got off to an awkward start when Peña-Nieto came out to greet Trump and Trump handed him his keys.
Late Night With Seth Meyers
Apple, next week, is expected to unveil the iPhone 7. “How’s the camera?!” asked Anthony Weiner.
Former representative Anthony Weiner’s column in the New York Daily News was dropped today after reports of a third sexting scandal. But if you still want to see Weiner’s column, don’t worry, he’ll text it to you eventually.
Taylor Swift skipped the MTV Video Music Awards to attend jury duty in Tennessee. Said the other jurors: “Please stop calling us your ‘squad.’”
A group in Brooklyn has created a jet engine-powered merry-go-round. “It’s incredible!” said a little kid who is now in New Jersey.