Daugh­ter given ev­ery­thing gives heartache in re­turn

The State - - Comics - JEANNE PHILLIPS Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: Ever since high school, our adult daugh­ter has had mood swings. My wife and I thought she’d grow out of it, but she hasn’t. At her re­quest we sent her to a uni­ver­sity far away, and we were proud that she earned her bach­e­lor’s de­gree. We thought in­de­pen­dent liv­ing would do the trick, but her be­hav­ior to­ward us didn’t change.

She’s an only child, and we spoiled her— bought her cars and paid for col­lege. She mar­ried and had two won­der­ful kids, but her mood swings per­sist. When I men­tioned she see a coun­selor or ther­a­pist as a way to get some third-party ad­vice, she told me I was the one who needs ther­apy.

Af­ter 10 years she di­vorced her hus­band. She got cus­tody of the kids and the house. Her di­vorce cost us a great deal of money. Her au­thor­i­ta­tive and moody be­hav­ior is af­fect­ing our grand­chil­dren.

If you were inmy shoes, Abby, what would you do?— Still Her Dad in Florida

Dear Dad: I would ex­am­ine all the things I did to fos­ter her be­hav­ior. An ex­am­ple would be pay­ing for her di­vorce. Then I would stop do­ing them and not re­sume un­til she agreed to con­sult a psy­chother­a­pist.

Dear Abby: Be­fore I metmy boyfriend, I planned a 10-day Ja­pan va­ca­tion for next year with my best guy friend, “J.” We have been friends for eight years, and have never had any ro­man­tic in­ter­est in each other.

J and I were both sin­gle when we started mak­ing plans. Then I met my boyfriend. My boyfriend knew from the be­gin­ning that this trip was go­ing to hap­pen next year. Be­cause the date wasn’t “set in stone” or paid for un­til re­cently, my boyfriend thinks I should have called it off.

I still want to take the trip. Am I be­ing a bad girl­friend? — Tripped up in the East

Dear Tripped Up: A “bad” girl­friend? No. An in­de­pen­dent one, yes. You say your boyfriend has known about this from the be­gin­ning, so this wasn’t a sur­prise to him. If he was more se­cure, he would know that J isn’t a threat. Not only should you take the trip, you should also use the time away to de­cide if you want a life part­ner as in­se­cure as your boyfriend ap­pears to be.

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