Big ring comes between couple
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I love each other very much and have been living together with our children for five years. We intend to get married soon. Here is the rub: She’s “old school.” She believes she should receive a diamond ring as part of the marriage proposal.
I would marry her tomorrow, but I don’t believe in spending thousands of dollars on a piece of carbon. I understand that somehow she equates her value/social status with the size of her wedding ring (“I deserve a nice ring”), but I don’t agree. I think the expense is unwarranted and, quite frankly, as the person paying for most of it, unfair.
She has offered to chip in and even buy one from a used wedding site, but I’d rather spend that money on something we could both enjoy or at least on something more practical that she can enjoy. I can find the money to buy the ring, but in my heart, I don’t see the value or buy into the fantasy the diamond industry has put into some women’s heads.
What do I do? Cave in and give her what she wants because I love her? Or push for a compromise, which will definitely be an uphill battle and potentially spoil what is supposed to be a special thing in our lives? — Hung Up on the Ring in Reno
DEAR HUNG UP: Give her the ring. It will be cheaper in the long run. Trust me on that. And in the future, when she asks what you would like for a gift, tell her YOUR fantasy is that she’ll make a comparable down payment on your next car. That way, she can make your dream come true.
DEAR VETERANS: My thanks to each of you, as well as to the brave men and women still on active duty, some of whom are in harm’s way. I also would like to acknowledge your families for the sacrifices they, too, have made and continue to make every day. — Love, Abby