Friend lends her wed­ding dress but isn’t in­vited to wed­ding

The Trentonian (Trenton, NJ) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY » My co-worker and sup­posed friend asked if she could bor­row my wed­ding dress be­cause she thought it was so beau­ti­ful. I was thrilled to lend it to her and paid for the al­ter­ations ($200 plus) as her wed­ding present. I ac­com­pa­nied her to her fit­tings and helped her plan her wed­ding for ap­prox­i­mately 100 friends and fam­ily.

The kicker: My hus­band and I were not in­vited to the wed­ding, and when she re­turned my gown, it had lip­stick on it and cake down the front. It wasn’t even in a bag — she just handed it to me. What should I think about this?

— Flab­ber­gasted in Florida

DEAR FLAB­BER­GASTED » You should con­clude that your co-worker and “friend” is some­one with no class what­so­ever. Have the dress cleaned and pack­aged so it can be prop­erly stored if you in­tend to keep it, and give HER the bill. Then dis­tance your­self far enough from this per­son that if she asks for any more fa­vors, you can com­fort­ably say no.

DEAR ABBY » I have been in a re­la­tion­ship with my girl­friend, who lives in her na­tive Ger­many, for al­most two years. We met on­line thanks to a mu­tual on­line friend of mine and school friend of hers.

My girl­friend strug­gles with her body im­age, and I’m not sure how to help other than call her beau­ti­ful of­ten. She’s thin and looks fine by “Amer­i­can stan­dards,” as she puts it, but for a Ger­man she is larger than most, which is why she thinks she’s fat and ugly, de­spite the fact that she’s slim and pretty. What would you sug­gest I do in or­der to help her im­prove her body im­age?

— Sup­port­ive in New


DEAR SUP­PORT­IVE » Other than con­tin­u­ing to re­as­sure her that in your eyes she’s beau­ti­ful, there isn’t much you can do long-dis­tance. How­ever, there is plenty SHE can do. She should dis­cuss her fix­a­tion with a doc­tor who can ex­plain what a healthy weight should be for some­one her height and build. If her prob­lem is all in her head, it’s pos­si­ble she needs coun­sel­ing for body dys­mor­phia, a dis­or­der in which peo­ple of nor­mal weight are con­vinced they are heavy. It’s not un­com­mon. DEAR ABBY » I am go­ing through a rough di­vorce. I’ll spare you the de­tails, but suf­fice it to say, I had to get an or­der of pro­tec­tion against my soon-to-be ex.

I orig­i­nally in­tended to keep my hus­band’s last name be­cause we have a child to­gether and I want my last name to be the same as my child’s. The thing is, Abby, I’m so dis­gusted with his be­hav­ior that the thought of keep­ing his last name makes me sick to my stom­ach. What should I do?

— Sin­gle soon in Ohio

DEAR SIN­GLE SOON » Many par­ents have dif­fer­ent names than their chil­dren. If keep­ing your al­most-ex-hus­band’s last name makes you sick to your stom­ach now, in a few years you may have a ma­jor case of in­di­ges­tion. Change your name when the di­vorce is fi­nal be­cause the longer you wait to do it, the more com­pli­cated it may be­come.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. Dear­ or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

For an ex­cel­lent guide to be­com­ing a bet­ter con­ver­sa­tion­al­ist and a more so­cia­ble per­son, or­der “How to Be Pop­u­lar.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Pop­u­lar­ity Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 610540447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

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