Dat­ing coach’s tips on meet­ing peo­ple

The Washington Post Sunday - - ON LOVE - For more dat­ing ad­vice from Schoen visit heart­mind­con­nec­tion.com.

Look­ing for for love in 2011? Washington area dat­ing coach AmyS­choen­chat­ted­with­OnLove:

Alexan­dria: I’d love to jump­start­my­dat­ing life but I’mnot sure where to at­tach the ca­bles.

Amy Schoen: Yes, start­ing to date can be over­whelm­ing. WhenI work­withmy clients, wes­t­art with a val­ues clar­i­fi­ca­tion so we get a sense of what is truly im­por­tant to them. Think about what’s ful­fill­ing for you. Then we think about where you can meet peo­ple who share your val­ues. I had a client who was into com­mu­nity ser­vice and met her hus­band through a sin­gles vol­un­teer­ing group. I also be­lieve that on­line dat­ing is a good way to meet peo­ple. So find a site that feels com­fort­able for you.

Bal­ti­more: I re­cently grad­u­ated from col­lege and have a hard time tran­si­tion­ing from the easy way to meet peo­ple — in class or in a col­lege bar. Can you help?

Amy Schoen: It’s hard to leave the cozy so­cial world of col­lege. Go­ing to bars may not be the best way un­less it’s a neigh­bor­hood bar that at­tracts 20-some­things. I rec­om­mend check­ing out Meetup. and find groups that cater to your age bracket and in­ter­ests. Per­haps your church or syn­a­gogue has a young pro­fes­sion­als group for you to ex­plore. Try join­ing a cou­ple of Face­book groups.

Washington: I re­cently started meet­ing peo­ple through an on­line dat­ing ser­vice. Meet­ing some­one for cof­fee is­abit­too“takeitor leave it” (af­ter all, we­haveprob­a­bly­been e-mail­ing for two weeks or more). Din­ner seems like a big com­mit­ment to some, and there isn’t good con­ver­sa­tion with a movie. . . .

Amy Schoen: Per­son­ally, I al­ways liked . . . go­ing to a mu­seum and­cof­fee at the cafe­te­ria or tak­ing a walk along the C&O Canal or the Mall. You can go ice skat­ing at the Sculp­ture Gar­den and get hot choco­late. I think it’s less pres­sure.

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