The Style In­vi­ta­tional

The Washington Post Sunday - - SUNDAY STYLE -

“Joint leg­is­la­tion” from two or more fresh­man mem­bers of Congress.

Barr-Po­can-LaMalfa bill to limit how much gum-jab­bing a dental hy­gien­ist may do dur­ing a rou­tine clean­ing.

(Rob Wolf, Gaithers­burg)

The Hirono-Schatz Act to sub­si­dize

gun si­lencers (Rob Co­hen, Po­tomac) The Collins-Collins Act to re­duce leg­isla­tive re­dun­dancy. Fol­lowed closely by the Murphy-Murphy Act to re­duce leg­isla­tive re­dun­dancy.

(*An­drea Schmahl, Front Royal, Va.)

The Cot­ton-Kennedy, KennedyBarr and Kennedy-Kaine acts to raise the BMI thresh­old for obe­sity.

(Danielle Nowlin, Wood­bridge)

The Barr-King-Cook bill to grant honorary U.S. cit­i­zen­ship to Gor­don

Ram­say. (Christo­pher Lamora, Guatemala City)

The Bus­tos-Ti­tus-Heck res­o­lu­tion to in­ves­ti­gate the safety of the ath­letic

com­pres­sion bra. (*Tom Buck­ley,

Cen­tre­ville)

The Collins-Murphy-CollinsMur­phy-Var­gas Act to pro­mote

di­ver­sity in law firms. (*Mea­gan Keefe,

Fairfax Sta­tion)

The Wag­ner- Bus­tos Act to pro­vide train­ing for ex­otic dancers. (Chris

O’Car­roll, Em­po­ria, Kan.)

The Don­nelly-Veasey Act to es­tab­lish lim­its on em­i­gra­tion. (Frank

Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) DeSan­tis-En­yart-Ti­tus-Cot­ton ed­u­ca­tional mem­o­ran­dum about the dan­gers of yoga pants at the beach.

(Craig Dyk­stra, Cen­tre­ville)

The Barr-Bri­den­s­tine-Sinema Act to ban simul­casts of the Kim

Kar­dashian wed­ding. (Kath­leen

DeBold, Bur­tonsville) The Salmon-Flake-Rice-Barr Act for re­search into snacks that are sure to en­cour­age chil­dren to set aside their Milky Ways. (*J.P. Devine, Ar­ling­ton; *Kris­tine DeWitt, West­min­ster, Md.) Barr-Payne-War­ren-DainesHold­ing-Fis­cher-Cruz bill to pro­hibit the de­liv­ery of ran­som to any Vik­ings who have cap­tured a deep-sea trawler. (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)

Brown­ley-King-En­yart Act: An act to reg­u­late con­tam­i­na­tion from over­flow­ing res­i­den­tial cesspools.

(Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

The Kilmer-Mead­ows-KildeeBrooks Act to es­tab­lish spe­cific tar­gets for the ef­fects of global

warm­ing. (Ar­den Levine, New York)

The Yoho-Sinema bill to pro­mote

aargh-rated films. (*Joanne Free,

Clifton)

The Kirk­patrick-Ste­wart res­o­lu­tion to in­clude the ques­tion “Who was the bet­ter cap­tain?” as part of the 2020 Cen­sus. (*David Sil­ver­smith, Burke)

The Hors­ford-Cartwright Act to dis­cour­age get­ting things out of

or­der. (Dan Walker, Partlow, Va.; Larry Pry­luck, Amissville, Va.; Mae Scan­lan, Washington)

The King-Takano-Cot­ton bill to keep vis­it­ing dig­ni­taries from walking off

with the White House li­nens. (Will

Stutz­man, Millers­burg, Ohio)

The Kildee-Joyce Act of­fers fed­eral pro­tec­tions for party poop­ers. (Nancy

Sch­walb, Washington)

The Hors­ford-Hud­son Act to ex­pel Man­hat­tan pros­ti­tutes to New Jersey. (Mike Gips, Bethesda)

The We­ber- Scott-Salmon-CookKing res­o­lu­tion to de­clare that

din­ner’s about ready. (Gary Crock­ett,

Chevy Chase)

The Kildee-Payne res­o­lu­tion to in­ves­ti­gate liquor, pills, and

mean­ing­less sex. (Rob Huff­man,

Fred­er­icks­burg)

The War­ren- Beatty Act: You prob­a­bly think this law is about you,

don’t you? (An­drew Bal­lard, Lon­don; Kevin Dopart, Washington)

The War­ren- Beatty-Sinema-Payne Life­time Achieve­ment

Com­mem­o­ra­tion for “Ishtar.” (Craig Dyk­stra; Mitch Bailin, Bethesda)

The Bera-Grayson Act to sup­port re­search into com­plex­ion dis­or­ders

in the new­born. (Dixon Wragg, Santa

Rosa, Calif.)

The Barr-War­ren-Payne Act to es­tab­lish a utopian so­ci­ety. (John

Glenn)

The Yoho-Scott-Schatz Old­est Pro­fes­sion Im­mu­niza­tion Act: Re­quires pimps to en­sure their “charges” have proper in­oc­u­la­tions.

(Mark Raffman, Re­ston) The Ben­tivo­lio-Cartwright Act to “class up” the Pon­derosa by giv­ing the “Bo­nanza” cast artsy Shake­spearean names — and they have to wear tights in­stead of chaps.

(Mark Raffman)

The Po­can-Scott Act to Pro­mote Al­ter­na­tives to Squeez­ing Charmin

(Ar­den Levine)

The Barr-Baldwin-King-Cruz Act to de­ter flir­ta­tious be­hav­ior by skin­head

street gangs. (Kevin Dopart)

The Bus­tos-Scott-King Bill to add Coretta to the statue of Martin

(Mar­leen May, Rockville)

The Flake-Collins-Hold­ing bill to treat peo­ple wait­ing to talk to Rush

Lim­baugh. (Ralph Nitkin, Rockville)

And Last: The Davis-Ti­tus-Heck res­o­lu­tion con­demn­ing one Loser’s gift-buy­ing prac­tices. (Dave Zar­row’s

wife, Re­ston)

*The en­trant is a First Of­fender. See bit.ly/in­vite1008 for a link to a list of the above en­tries ac­com­pa­nied by an “an­swer key.”

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