The Style Invitational
“Joint legislation” from two or more freshman members of Congress.
Barr-Pocan-LaMalfa bill to limit how much gum-jabbing a dental hygienist may do during a routine cleaning.
(Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg)
The Hirono-Schatz Act to subsidize
gun silencers (Rob Cohen, Potomac) The Collins-Collins Act to reduce legislative redundancy. Followed closely by the Murphy-Murphy Act to reduce legislative redundancy.
(*Andrea Schmahl, Front Royal, Va.)
The Cotton-Kennedy, KennedyBarr and Kennedy-Kaine acts to raise the BMI threshold for obesity.
(Danielle Nowlin, Woodbridge)
The Barr-King-Cook bill to grant honorary U.S. citizenship to Gordon
Ramsay. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City)
The Bustos-Titus-Heck resolution to investigate the safety of the athletic
compression bra. (*Tom Buckley,
The Collins-Murphy-CollinsMurphy-Vargas Act to promote
diversity in law firms. (*Meagan Keefe,
The Wagner- Bustos Act to provide training for exotic dancers. (Chris
O’Carroll, Emporia, Kan.)
The Donnelly-Veasey Act to establish limits on emigration. (Frank
Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) DeSantis-Enyart-Titus-Cotton educational memorandum about the dangers of yoga pants at the beach.
(Craig Dykstra, Centreville)
The Barr-Bridenstine-Sinema Act to ban simulcasts of the Kim
Kardashian wedding. (Kathleen
DeBold, Burtonsville) The Salmon-Flake-Rice-Barr Act for research into snacks that are sure to encourage children to set aside their Milky Ways. (*J.P. Devine, Arlington; *Kristine DeWitt, Westminster, Md.) Barr-Payne-Warren-DainesHolding-Fischer-Cruz bill to prohibit the delivery of ransom to any Vikings who have captured a deep-sea trawler. (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)
Brownley-King-Enyart Act: An act to regulate contamination from overflowing residential cesspools.
(Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)
The Kilmer-Meadows-KildeeBrooks Act to establish specific targets for the effects of global
warming. (Arden Levine, New York)
The Yoho-Sinema bill to promote
aargh-rated films. (*Joanne Free,
The Kirkpatrick-Stewart resolution to include the question “Who was the better captain?” as part of the 2020 Census. (*David Silversmith, Burke)
The Horsford-Cartwright Act to discourage getting things out of
order. (Dan Walker, Partlow, Va.; Larry Pryluck, Amissville, Va.; Mae Scanlan, Washington)
The King-Takano-Cotton bill to keep visiting dignitaries from walking off
with the White House linens. (Will
Stutzman, Millersburg, Ohio)
The Kildee-Joyce Act offers federal protections for party poopers. (Nancy
The Horsford-Hudson Act to expel Manhattan prostitutes to New Jersey. (Mike Gips, Bethesda)
The Weber- Scott-Salmon-CookKing resolution to declare that
dinner’s about ready. (Gary Crockett,
The Kildee-Payne resolution to investigate liquor, pills, and
meaningless sex. (Rob Huffman,
The Warren- Beatty Act: You probably think this law is about you,
don’t you? (Andrew Ballard, London; Kevin Dopart, Washington)
The Warren- Beatty-Sinema-Payne Lifetime Achievement
Commemoration for “Ishtar.” (Craig Dykstra; Mitch Bailin, Bethesda)
The Bera-Grayson Act to support research into complexion disorders
in the newborn. (Dixon Wragg, Santa
The Barr-Warren-Payne Act to establish a utopian society. (John
The Yoho-Scott-Schatz Oldest Profession Immunization Act: Requires pimps to ensure their “charges” have proper inoculations.
(Mark Raffman, Reston) The Bentivolio-Cartwright Act to “class up” the Ponderosa by giving the “Bonanza” cast artsy Shakespearean names — and they have to wear tights instead of chaps.
The Pocan-Scott Act to Promote Alternatives to Squeezing Charmin
The Barr-Baldwin-King-Cruz Act to deter flirtatious behavior by skinhead
street gangs. (Kevin Dopart)
The Bustos-Scott-King Bill to add Coretta to the statue of Martin
(Marleen May, Rockville)
The Flake-Collins-Holding bill to treat people waiting to talk to Rush
Limbaugh. (Ralph Nitkin, Rockville)
And Last: The Davis-Titus-Heck resolution condemning one Loser’s gift-buying practices. (Dave Zarrow’s
*The entrant is a First Offender. See bit.ly/invite1008 for a link to a list of the above entries accompanied by an “answer key.”