Maim that tune: hon­or­able men­tions

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS - More hon­or­able men­tions in the online In­vite at bit.ly/in­vite1129.

[5] 0 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR

LOVER: The new theme song of the Ro­man Catholic Church. (Elden Carnahan, Lau­rel)

[H] OLD ME NOW: Yoda pon­ders him­self in the mir­ror. (David Clay­ton, Alexandria) [What’s] NEW, PUSSY­CAT?: The song you dread hear­ing on your first day of hard time. (G. Smith, Alexandria)

[E] BONY AND IVORY: The fash­ion in­dus­try tells what it’s look­ing for in run­way mod­els. (Dion Black, Washington) [All] ABOUT THAT BASS: Okay, maybe the fish wasn’t quite three feet long . . . (Ben Sch­walb, Sev­erna Park)

[Priv] ATE EYES: Newly dis­cov­ered sin­gle by the Zom­bies. (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

[I] FEEL THE EAR[ th Move]: Spinal Tap’s fol­low-up to “Smell the Glove” (Mike Gips, Bethesda) [R] OXANNE: “You don’t have to turn on the light at all, ac­tu­ally . . .” (Craig Dykstra, Cen­tre­ville)

[T] OUCH ME IN THE MORN­ING: Theme from “50 Shades of Grey.” (Mark Raffman, Re­ston)

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DR[ eam]: A col­lege stu­dent knows how to make his Tiger Mom proud. (Dion Black)

GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIM[ e]: In this sen­ti­men­tal hol­i­day bal­lad, Ebenezer Scrooge forces a boy on crutches to give him a pig­gy­back ride to Christ­mas ser­vice. (Christo­pher Lamora, Los An­ge­les)

ETER­NAL FLAM[ e]: “Close your eyes, stick your heads in the sand /Vot­ers, when your can­di­date’s vy­ing, ev­ery­thing is grand./You won’t give a damn even when they’re ly­ing,/You’ll keep buy­ing their eter­nal flam!” (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) I’D LIKE TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SIN[ g]: By the Temp­ta­tions. (Jeff Con­tom­pa­sis, Ashburn)

LAY ME DO[ wn]: This orig­i­nal Bea­tles song ti­tle was cleaned up to “Love” for AM ra­dio. (Ben Sch­walb)

HAZY SHADE OF WIN[ ter]: By the Brady Bunch, the of­fi­cial song of Su­per Bowl XLIX. (Jes­sica Mathews, Stan­ley, Va.)

RIVER DEEP, MO[ un­tain High]: A song from “Ex­o­dus: The Mu­si­cal.” (Marni Pen­ning Coleman, Falls Church)

ROLL OVER BEET[ hoven]: Ve­gan­rock re­make of “On Top of Spaghetti” (Ken Gallant, Con­way, Ark.)

STREET FIGHT­ING MA[ n]: A trib­ute to Toya Graham, Bal­ti­more’s re­cent “mother of the year.” (Michael Levy, Sil­ver Spring)

THANK GOD I’M A COUN­TRY [Boy]: The Vat­i­can na­tional an­them. (Rob Wolf, Gaithers­burg) Still run­ning — dead­line Mon­day night: Our con­test for mis­chievous ideas for minidrones. See bit.ly/in­vite1128.

WHAT­EVER LOL[ a Wants, Lola Gets]: Teens’ texts set to mu­sic. (War­ren Tan­abe, An­napo­lis) [F] IRE AND RAIN: This mix doesn’t play well on the Belt­way. (Ellen Ryan, Rockville)

[The Wh] EELS ON THE BUS: Scary kids’ song per­formed by Sa­muel L. Jack­son. (Mark Raffman)

AIN’T TOO PRO[ ud to Beg]: A more ap­pro­pri­ate song than “Hail to the Red­skins.” (Kathy Hardis Frae­man, Ol­ney)

MEL­LOW YELL[ ow]: Dono­van sings about sit­ting on a lit reefer. (Jim Barnes, Lees­burg)

UN­DER THE BOAR[ dwalk]: A bal­lad about Miss Piggy’s sum­mer

ro­mance. (Ed Ed­wards, Sur­rey, Eng­land)

TAKE ME TO CHU[ rch]: An alien “Jeop­ardy!” fan comes af­ter the player he hates most. (Mary Kap­pus, Washington)

MY BLUE HEAVE( n): Maybe te­quila with blue­berry pie wasn’t such a good idea af­ter all. (Jeff Brech­lin; Ed­mund Conti, Raleigh)

And Last: CAN I GET A WIT[ ness]: The Em­press’s weekly lament. (Joy Sibley, Fair­fax; Roger Dal­rym­ple)

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