Week 1130: Yux Re­dux: Play on a for­eign phrase

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS -

Cog­ito ergo bum: Sud­den re­al­iza­tion of grad­u­at­ing phi­los­o­phy ma­jors. (Greg Deye) Avant-gar­den: The flow­ers are lovely, but I’m not sure about the uri­nal in the mid­dle of the rhodo­den­drons. (Lau­rie Brink)

Ode de toi­lette: Bath­room stall po­etry. (Tony Aran­cibia)

This week we present an encore of a con­test we did back in 2011 to enor­mous suc­cess — per­haps be­cause it’s the epit­ome of the In­vi­ta­tional’s trade­mark high­brow/low­brow hu­mor: “Putting the Rude in Eru­di­tion,” as an ear­lier-model Loser Mag­net put it (since “Putting the Rud in Eru­di­tion” didn’t have the same ring to it). Uber-Loser Chris Doyle re­cently sug­gested we do this con­test, ac­com­pa­ny­ing his pitch with sev­eral clever ex­am­ples; the thing was that Chris had to­tally for­got­ten Week 936 — even though he’d got­ten ink in it him­self (as usual): “Mardi Gas: Fart Tues­day.” Which con­vinces the Em­press that there’s a world of new ways out there to in­sult other

lan­guages. This week: Make a word­play on a for­eign phrase or term (or English phrase us­ing for­eign words) and

de­scribe it, as in the ex­am­ples above from Week 936 (see the rest of the re­sults at bit.ly/in­vite940; you can play on the same terms, but you can’t make the same joke, duh). Us­ing the term in a funny sen­tence is al­ways welcome; us­ing the term in a bor­ing sen­tence is not.

Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Me­mo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy. Sec­ond place re­ceives, apro­pos of this week’s con­test, a do­na­tion from for­eign climes: a deck of play­ing cards from Aus­tralia. On the back of the cards is a car­toon of an “Aussie Sheila” and a guide to what her var­i­ous ex­pres­sions mean (e.g., “Grouse lippy”: “What a nice shade of lip­stick”); we’d show a pic­ture but some of the terms are un­print­able. Do­nated ages ago by Brad Alexan­der, who en­ters the In­vi­ta­tional ev­ery week from Wan­neroo, Western Aus­tralia. The Em­press met Brad and his wife a cou­ple of years ago when they were vis­it­ing Washington, and she didn’t think Brad’s lippy was grouse at all.

Other run­ners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ar­dently de­sired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Hon­or­able men­tions get a lusted-af­ter Loser mag­net de­signed by Bob Staake: ei­ther “The Wit Hit the Fan” or “Hardly HarHar.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive a smelly tree-shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail en­tries to losers@wash­post.com or, if you were born in the 19th cen­tury, fax to 202-334-4312. Dead­line is Mon­day night, July 6; re­sults pub­lished July 26 (online July 23). You may sub­mit up to 25 en­tries per con­test. In­clude “Week 1130” in your e-mail sub­ject line or it might be ig­nored as spam. In­clude your real name, postal ad­dress and phone num­ber with your en­try. See con­test rules and guide­lines at wapo.st/In­vRules. The head­line for this week’s re­sults is by Mark Raffman; the hon­or­able-men­tions sub­head is by Bev­er­ley Sharp. Join the lively Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at on.fb.me/in­vdev. “Like” the Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at bit.ly/ inkof­day.

3THE STYLE CON­VER­SA­TIONAL The Em­press’s weekly online col­umn dis­cusses each new con­test and set of re­sults. Es­pe­cially if you plan to en­ter, check it out at wapo.st/style­conv.

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