A small, small whirly: Win­ning uses for mi­cro-drones

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS - BY PAT MY­ERS

In Week 1128, we asked for some imag­i­na­tive uses for the new, in­ex­pen­sive CI­CADA mini-drones that the Navy is de­vel­op­ing. Af­ter read­ing a goodly (or badly) num­ber of wist­ful dreams of swarms of up­skirt cam­eras, the Em­press isn’t so sure she wants to go to any more Loser brunches.

4th place

A CI­CADA could be used to de­liver pink slips to the soon-to-be un­em­ployed, with a recorded “Re­mem­ber, change is good — we wish you the best!” farewell af­ter each no­ti­fi­ca­tion. (Mark Asquino, Mal­abo, Equa­to­rial Guinea)

3rd place

The only way to get past the shame of the Amer­i­can gov­ern­ment spy­ing on its own cit­i­zens is for it to is­sue ev­ery man, woman and child a mi­cro-drone so they can spy on each other. (Lawrence McGuire, Wal­dorf)

2nd place and the it­ty­bitty cof­fee mug and mini-sushi key chain:

When some­one cuts you off in traf­fic, send a CI­CADA to fly in­con­spic­u­ously along­side the of­fender’s ve­hi­cle and zip sud­denly ahead to trip the radar de­tec­tor as it passes the next speed trap. Then en­joy the schaden­freude when you see the speed­ing driver pulled over as you sail on by. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM AP­PLES, ZOOMY McSPEEDY PANTS?? (Danielle Nowlin, Wood­bridge)

And the win­ner of the Inkin’ Me­mo­rial

Use the mi­cro-drone as a baby mon­i­tor, cling­ing to the rail of your child’s crib. Years later, your son will write a pic­ture book about his in­sect friend, Jiminy CI­CADA, who, in­stead of tak­ing him on mag­i­cal ad­ven­tures, re­ports his ev­ery es­cape at­tempt to Mom. (Lawrence McGuire)

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