New con­test forWeek 1134: The ‘Sty’le In­vi­ta­tional Red‘ux’

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS -

“Aw”ard: The tro­phy the team gives to the schlumpy kids just for par­tic­i­pat­ing. (Roger Dal­rym­ple) Ameri“can”: A butt larger than a size 18. (Bar­bara Turner) Se“cret in”gre­di­ent: A com­mon mar­ket­ing ploy tar­get­ing the patho­log­i­cally gullible. (David Gar­ratt) By per­sonal re­quest of the long-de­posed but oc­ca­sion­ally still in­dulged Czar of The Style In­vi­ta­tional, who main­tains that the Em­press has not re­done this con­test of­ten enough — “you have never given them the love they de­serve” — we bring you another encore of our “air quotes” con­test, which last ran two years ago, and be­fore that in 2009, 2001 and 2000. Ex­actly the same as be­fore: Put quo­ta­tion marks around part of a

word, name or phrase and de­fine the re­sult, as in the ink­ing en­tries above from Week 1031 in 2013. (Links to the pre­vi­ous re­sults ap­pear in this week’s Style Con­ver­sa­tional at conv1134.)

Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Me­mo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy. Sec­ond place re­ceives a squir­rel feeder in the shape of a hol­low horse head; if the crit­ters are go­ing to eat up your seeds any­way, you might as well en­joy watch­ing them look ridicu­lous while do­ing so. (Could a sim­i­lar de­vice be cre­ated for, say, tax au­di­tors?) Do­nated by Loser Diane Wah.

Other run­ners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ar­dently de­sired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Hon­or­able men­tions get a lusted-af­ter Loser mag­net de­signed by Bob Staake: ei­ther “The Wit Hit the Fan” or “Hardly HarHar.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive a smelly tree-shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail en­tries to losers@wash­ or, if you were born in the 19th cen­tury, fax to 202-334-4312. Dead­line is Mon­day, Aug. 3; re­sults pub­lished Aug. 23 (online Aug. 20). You may sub­mit up to 25 en­tries per con­test. In­clude “Week 1134” in your e-mail sub­ject line or it might be ig­nored as spam. In­clude your real name, postal ad­dress and phone num­ber with your en­try. See con­test rules and guide­lines at­vRules. The head­line for this week’s re­sults is by Tom Witte; the hon­or­able-men­tions sub­head is by Chris Doyle. Join the lively Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at­vdev. “Like” the Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at inkof­day.

3THE STYLE CON­VER­SA­TIONAL: The Em­press’s weekly online col­umn dis­cusses each new con­test and set of re­sults. Es­pe­cially if you plan to en­ter, check it out at­conv.

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