New contest forWeek 1134: The ‘Sty’le Invitational Red‘ux’
“Aw”ard: The trophy the team gives to the schlumpy kids just for participating. (Roger Dalrymple) Ameri“can”: A butt larger than a size 18. (Barbara Turner) Se“cret in”gredient: A common marketing ploy targeting the pathologically gullible. (David Garratt) By personal request of the long-deposed but occasionally still indulged Czar of The Style Invitational, who maintains that the Empress has not redone this contest often enough — “you have never given them the love they deserve” — we bring you another encore of our “air quotes” contest, which last ran two years ago, and before that in 2009, 2001 and 2000. Exactly the same as before: Put quotation marks around part of a
word, name or phrase and define the result, as in the inking entries above from Week 1031 in 2013. (Links to the previous results appear in this week’s Style Conversational at bit.ly/ conv1134.)
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a squirrel feeder in the shape of a hollow horse head; if the critters are going to eat up your seeds anyway, you might as well enjoy watching them look ridiculous while doing so. (Could a similar device be created for, say, tax auditors?) Donated by Loser Diane Wah.
Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet designed by Bob Staake: either “The Wit Hit the Fan” or “Hardly HarHar.” First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to firstname.lastname@example.org or, if you were born in the 19th century, fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Aug. 3; results published Aug. 23 (online Aug. 20). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest. Include “Week 1134” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The headline for this week’s results is by Tom Witte; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Chris Doyle. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev. “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/ inkofday.
3THE STYLE CONVERSATIONAL: The Empress’s weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv.