Sixty-foursaken: honorable mentions
An observation about the Trump campaign that’s short enough for a tweet: If Trump gets the nomination, which of those pathetic, ugly losers should he ask to be his running mate?
(Frank Mann, Washington) A riddle about a fad that is so over, and could be a tweet: Q. How are collectible Beanie Babies like kamikaze pilots?
A. Both have low rates of return.
(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn) Parody about footwear, and contains all 26 letters of the alphabet: (To “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”) Extreme strain on your legs and feet; The shoes you use abuse you till each calf moos, “Retreat!” You trip and fall so much you’re covered in bumps, But still you’re gonna wear pumps. Dumb girls just wanna wear pumps. Each quick turn, ankles swell and ache. Big bunions and hammertoes, what more can you take? You’re just a hobbling ditz on two bloody stumps, But still you’re gonna wear pumps, Dumb girls just wanna wear pumps.
(Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) A tweetable observation about a fad that is so over: Isn’t twerking just like spinning a hula hoop, only without the hula hoop?
(Neal Starkman, Seattle) A tweetable observation about the new thin Oreos: Thin Oreos? I guess “Obese Oreos” didn’t test well?
(Art Grinath, Takoma Park) A Trump parody with an anagram pair (guns/snug): To “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”: The Donald is winning, say pollsters; His weird popularity grows. Right-wingers, guns snug in their holsters, Proclaim him the cure for their woes. Take back this quack, Oh, bring back some sanity to the scene, Or we might see A President Trump in ’16.
(Mae Scanlan, Washington)