Sixty-four­saken: hon­or­able men­tions

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS - See more hon­or­able men­tions in the online In­vite at­vite1143. Still run­ning — dead­line Mon­day night, Oct. 5: Our con­test for tweets from a “hy­brid” per­son. See­vite1142.

An ob­ser­va­tion about the Trump cam­paign that’s short enough for a tweet: If Trump gets the nom­i­na­tion, which of those pa­thetic, ugly losers should he ask to be his run­ning mate?

(Frank Mann, Washington) A rid­dle about a fad that is so over, and could be a tweet: Q. How are col­lectible Beanie Ba­bies like kamikaze pilots?

A. Both have low rates of re­turn.

(Jeff Con­tom­pa­sis, Ashburn) Par­ody about footwear, and con­tains all 26 letters of the al­pha­bet: (To “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”) Ex­treme strain on your legs and feet; The shoes you use abuse you till each calf moos, “Re­treat!” You trip and fall so much you’re cov­ered in bumps, But still you’re gonna wear pumps. Dumb girls just wanna wear pumps. Each quick turn, an­kles swell and ache. Big bunions and ham­mer­toes, what more can you take? You’re just a hob­bling ditz on two bloody stumps, But still you’re gonna wear pumps, Dumb girls just wanna wear pumps.

(Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) A tweet­able ob­ser­va­tion about a fad that is so over: Isn’t twerk­ing just like spin­ning a hula hoop, only with­out the hula hoop?

(Neal Stark­man, Seat­tle) A tweet­able ob­ser­va­tion about the new thin Oreos: Thin Oreos? I guess “Obese Oreos” didn’t test well?

(Art Gri­nath, Takoma Park) A Trump par­ody with an ana­gram pair (guns/snug): To “My Bon­nie Lies Over the Ocean”: The Don­ald is win­ning, say poll­sters; His weird pop­u­lar­ity grows. Right-wingers, guns snug in their hol­sters, Pro­claim him the cure for their woes. Take back this quack, Oh, bring back some san­ity to the scene, Or we might see A Pres­i­dent Trump in ’16.

(Mae Scanlan, Washington)

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