Tour de Fours XII: A DICEy sit­u­a­tion for Week 1145

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSION -

Para­comedic: an EMT who per­forms stand-up while you lie down in the am­bu­lance.

Ice-damsel: The per­son in dis­tress if you try to “res­cue” this princess is you.

Pas­ture­pedic: A mat­tress that brings the fresh­ness of the out­doors into your bed­room (an­ti­his­tamine avail­able sep­a­rately).

Pun­de­cided: Should we go with ‘Surfin’ DOA’ or ‘No Vi­bra­tions’ for the obit­u­ary head­line?

This year’s Tour de Fours ne­ol­o­gism con­test uses two let­ters never used in the pre­ced­ing 11 Tours: C and D. But the game’s the same: Coin a word or multi-word term that con­tains the let­ter block D-I-C-E, and de­scribe it, as in the ex­am­ples above; the let­ters may be in any or­der, but there may be no other let­ters be­tween them. Feel free to use it in a funny sen­tence.

Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Me­mo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy. Sec­ond place re­ceives “The Art of the Bon­sai Potato,” con­sist­ing of a lit­tle plas­tic stand on which you place a real potato, whose sprouts you trim with serene con­cen­tra­tion as if they’re hun­dred-year old pine twigs. “Zen — with­out the wait,” it cheer­fully prom­ises. Mini-tools and “hi­lar­i­ous 32-page book” in­cluded. Do­nated by long­time Loser Christina Court­ney. Other run­ners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ar­dently de­sired “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Hon­or­able men­tions get a lusted-af­ter Loser mag­net de­signed by Bob Staake: either “The Wit Hit the Fan” or “Hardly HarHar.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive a smelly tree-shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail en­tries to losers@wash­ or, if you were born in the 19th cen­tury, fax to 202-334-4312. Dead­line is Mon­day night, Oct. 26; re­sults pub­lished Nov. 15 (on­line Nov. 12). You may sub­mit up to 25 en­tries per con­test. In­clude “Week 1145” in your e-mail sub­ject line or it might be ig­nored as spam. In­clude your real name, postal ad­dress and phone num­ber with your en­try. See con­test rules and guide­lines at­vRules. The head­line for this week’s re­sults is by Jeff Con­tom­pa­sis; the hon­or­able-men­tions sub­head is by Kevin Dopart. Join the lively Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at­vdev. “Like” the Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at inkof­day.

3THE STYLE CON­VER­SA­TIONAL The Em­press’s weekly on­line col­umn dis­cusses each new con­test and set of re­sults. Es­pe­cially if you plan to en­ter, check it out at­conv.


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