Cowherd’s dou­ble-take

The Washington Post Sunday - - WASHINGTONPOST.COM/SPORTS - BY DAN STEIN­BERG dan.stein­berg@wash­post.com

Look, it’s ob­jec­tively dumb to con­tinue tran­scrib­ing Colin Cowherd’s ev­ery mi­nor ut­ter­ance about John Wall.

But it just seems like this is a project that shouldn’t be aban­doned mid­stream, like one of my other goals of col­lect­ing scratch-off lot­tery tick­ets from ev­ery state.

Thus, this week, Cowherd was pre­sented with the story of Wall skip­ping Satur­day’s Wiz­ards pre­sea­son game for a very per­sonal and mean­ing­ful rea­son. This was pre­sented to Cowherd as ev­i­dence of Wall grow­ing up and “be­com­ing a re­ally good guy.”

“Well, I think he’s al­ways been a good guy,” Cowherd re­sponded. “That’s never been my ques­tion. Yeah, he’s a good guy, and I have no prob­lem with stars miss­ing NBA pre­sea­son games. I re­ally don’t. I mean, be there for the play­offs. I don’t even have a prob­lem with stars miss­ing reg­u­lar sea­son games. Again, be avail­able when it counts. . . .

“I’ve never had a prob­lem with John Wall be­ing a guy,” Cowherd then said. “I didn’t like his stupid dance. I have no opin­ion on John Wall. I re­ally don’t. I’m just am­bigu­ous. He’s a point guard in the NBA, about the fourth-best. You guys bring up sto­ries; I have no opin­ion on him. Peo­ple in D.C. barely care about the Wiz­ards. I don’t care at all about them.”

I be­lieve this is prob­a­bly true: Cowherd does not go home and think very much about John Wall, as op­posed to, say, whether Co­coa Krispies are an ac­cept­able sub­sti­tute for Rice Krispies in Rice Krispies Treats. (They’re not; they’re cloy­ingly sweet, ru­in­ing the en­tire recipe.) But I be­lieve he must have thought at some point that talk­ing about John Wall made for good ra­dio, and so he prob­a­bly doesn’t even re­mem­ber some of the things he’s said about John Wall, such as:

“Not a sharp guy. All about him. . . . Folks, when you rob a bank, it’s not just the act of it, it’s that you sat down for weeks and planned it. That tells me you’re an id­iot.”

“Point guard is like the quar­ter­back. It’s an IQ-judg­ment po­si­tion. The great ones are not about them­selves. They’re about the oth­ers. Lead­er­ship is IQ; it’s not skills. . . . He’s gonna end up on the Iver­son, Fran­cis, Star­bury [side]: great stats, nine all­star teams, never play with good smart play­ers and an elite head coach. He’s gonna drive peo­ple nuts.”

“You know, John Wall and Vick are very sim­i­lar. I’m not dis­put­ing their tal­ent. I mean, Michael Vick and John Wall are fun to watch. But build­ing my fran­chise around him, lead­er­ship po­si­tion? I’m not giv­ing Vick four-year deals. I’m not giv­ing him $40 mil. No way. No. Way.”

“I don’t think he’s the smartest kid on the block. I think he’s got poor judg­ment.”

“He is a dy­namic, freaky fast tal­ent who has ma­tured a ton but walked into this league wildly im­ma­ture with re­gret­table judg­ment, shown by the Dougie. And five years later, the only thing I don’t like about him is his judg­ment!”

“When John Wall came out and did the Dougie, first home game, for 34 sec­onds, he was a mo­ron. It’s the dumb­est thing I’ve ever seen. I will never back down.”

“If that is deep in you, that some­thing told you — even if you were egged on — to do that and it was a good call, first home game, you’re just not go­ing to be my guy. That’s id­i­otic. That’s bad judg­ment.”

Colin Cowherd is, with­out ques­tion, more opin­ion­ated about some­one he has no opin­ion about than I have ever been about any topic in my en­tire life, with the pos­si­ble ex­cep­tion of beer (it’s good) and mush­rooms (they’re dis­gust­ing) and sports-ra­dio tran­scripts (they should be avoided at all cost).

Ex­cerpted from wash­ing­ton­post.com/ dc­sports­bog

JIM PRISCHING/AS­SO­CI­ATED PRESS

MIKE EHRMANN/GETTY IMAGES

Ra­dio host Colin Cowherd, top, never had a prob­lem ex­press­ing an opin­ion about Wiz­ards point guard John Wall. But now? “I have no opin­ion on John Wall,” Cowherd said last week.

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