So­cial neT­WOrk­ing: Hy­brid tweets from Week 1142

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS - BY PAT MY­ERS More hon­or­able men­tions in the on­line In­vite at bitly/in­vite1146. Still run­ning — dead­line Mon­day night: Our an­nual Tour de Fours ne­ol­o­gism con­test. See in­vite1145.

In Week 1142, in­spired by the tweets of @KimKierkegaar­dashian, we asked you to com­bine two names into a Twit­ter han­dle, and write a tweet or “bio” by the hy­brid per­son:

4th place

@Lao-Tzu­per­man: A jour­ney of a thou­sand miles must be­gin with a sin­gle bound. (Chris Doyle, Pon­der, Tex.)

3rd place

@JFKanye: Ask not what your coun­try can do for you — ask what you can do for you. (Or for me.)” (Lela Martin, Mid­loth­ian, Va.)

2nd place and the “I’m an cal­i­for­nia gril” T-shirt:

@Trumpel­stilt­skin: Of course the bimbo knew my name — ev­ery­body knows my name! And I never wanted her first­born. Ugli­est kid I ever saw. (John Glenn, Tyler, Tex.)

And the win­ner of the Inkin’ Me­mo­rial

@OrangeJulius: Could be well mov’d: My friends in the House are stick­ing knives into me. #IdesOfSeptem­ber (Gary Crock­ett, Chevy Chase)

Tweetin’ Low: hon­or­able men­tions

@BieberOfSeville: Look at Me. . . Look at Me. . . LookatMeLookatMe LookatMeLookatMe . . . LOOK AT ME! (Todd DeLap, Fair­fax)

@Ron­al­don­aldRea­gantrump: Mr. Obama, put up that wall! (War­ren Tan­abe, An­napo­lis)

@Trumpel­stilt­skin:I can spin this straw poll into gold. (Jesse Frankovich, Lans­ing, Mich.)

@San­to­rum­plestilt­skin: Do you even know what my name means? No, wait . . . . Don’t Google it! (Jamie Martin­dale, McLean)

@Be­laLuGehrig: To­day I con­sider my­self the suck­i­est man on the face of this earth. (Gary Crock­ett)

@GenPaulMacArthurny: I shall go back! Go back! Go back to where I once be­longed! (Doug Frank, Crosby, Tex.)

@JohnLew­sistler’sMother: Fought all my life for civil rights, but in that paint­ing I’m a prime ex­am­ple of pro­fil­ing. #gray&black­livesmat­ter (Mae Scan­lan, Wash­ing­ton)

@MrBill­celMarceau: :o (Jeff Shirley, Rich­mond)

@KeanuReeve­vere: The Bri­tish are com­ing! Whoa. (David Fried­man, Ar­ling­ton)

@JayLenO­mar Khayyam: The mov­ing fin­ger writes, and hav­ing writ, moves on. Well, it writ me smack out of late night, and I haven’t moved on yet. (Mae Scan­lan)

@FS­cot­tFitzGer­aldFord: So we beat on, boats against the cur­rent, borne back cease­lessly into the — oops! Man over­board! (Mark Raffman, Re­ston)

@Hen­nyJung­man: Take my wife . . . as an ex­am­ple of an overde­vel­oped super­ego! (Doug Frank)

@YogiBer­raGrylls: When you come to a fork in the road, pick it up, sharpen the tines, lash it to a stick, and use it to hunt small rep­tiles for food. (Ben Aronin, Wash­ing­ton)

@SwedishCh­ef­fer­son: Yers der tree øf lib­jör­tie müst be re­früshed vrom time der time vit de blüd øf pa­triørts und tyrants. Børk! Børk! Børk! (Davd Fried­man)

@Ste­vieWon­derWo­man: It’s true — I have an in­vis­i­ble air­plane. In­vis­i­ble to me any­way. (Dave Ferry, Purvis, Miss.)

@Sec­re­tari­atHRClin­ton: So I’m sup­posed to just keep run­ning to the left? (Mark Spencer, Wal­dorf, a First Of­fender)

@RobertTheBruceLee: Kick­ing the English out of Scot­land. Lit­er­ally. (Lawrence McGuire, Wal­dorf)

@RobertFrostyTheSnow­man: Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. All I know is that if this hat goes, I’m a pud­dle. (Rob Huff­man, Fred­er­icks­burg)

@Olivi­aNew­tonJean-LucPi­card:I hate Q, I hon­estly hate Q. Yar, the one that I want. (Bar­bara Turner, Takoma Park)

@RaspuTay­lorSwiftin: Stab­bers gonna stab stab stab stab stab.

But I shake it off, I shake it off. (Sandy Mo­ran, Santa Rosa, Calif.)

@Jim­myJa­cobBuf­fett: I dreamed a lad­der was set upon the beach, reach­ing up to par­adise and at the top, be­hold: a cheese­burger. Wow. Blew out my flip-flop. (Ge­orge-Ann Rosen­berg, Wash­ing­ton)

@Jack­LordBy­ron: She walks in beauty like the night. Book ’er, Danno. So­lic­i­ta­tion. (Gary Crock­ett)

@Hil­lary Clin­ton Por­tis: Don’t worry, fans — I’m still run­ning and run­ning and run­ning for Wash­ing­ton! (Jamie Martin­dale)

@HerodTheGreatPump­kin: This Hal­loween, I shall rise from the most sin­cere patch, seek the world’s good chil­dren, and

slaugh­ter them. (Jeff Con­tom­pa­sis, Ash­burn)

@Ge­orgeR.R.Mart­inLutherKing: I have a dream to­day, and I will tell you the next part of it in five or six years. (Dun­can Stevens, Vi­enna)

@DonMcLe­naDun­ham: And I knew if I had my chance / That I could go take off my pants / And maybe HBO’d be happy for a while (Rivka Riss-Levin­son, Wash­ing­ton, a First Of­fender)

@Deep­akGrou­chopra: I find med­i­ta­tion di­vert­ing — when­ever some­one starts to med­i­tate, I go in the other room and smoke a ci­gar. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

@Car­lyFioSi­mon: I’m so vain, I prob­a­bly think I saved HP. (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)

@Cap­tKirkCousins: If Scotty would beam me up about a foot, those @#$%&* lineback­ers couldn’t tip my passes. (Dick Barnes, Wash­ing­ton)

@BryceHarperLee: Shoot all the Blue Jays you want, if you can hit ’em, but re­mem­ber it’s a sin to choke a Na­tional. (Tom Witte, Mont­gomery Vil­lage)

Brit­neyShakeS­pears (@Oops): At which hour lest I not be with thee I lose mine mind. Giveth unto me a sign. Hit mine own self baby again but once. (Kevin Dopart)


Style/Metro art di­rec­tor Su­sana Sanchez-Young gamely mod­els this week’s 2nd-prize head­wear.

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