New for Week 1213: Punku

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS - Alexan­der Hamil­ton

A foggy morn­ing And a hole in your jacket: Burr, it’s re­ally cold (Jeff Brech­lin, Week 453, 2002)

“We must raise taxes!” “No, we must lower taxes!” Bud­get: Can’t budge it. (Dave Pre­var, Week 923, 2011)

This week’s con­test was sug­gested by Reader but Not a Loser Rich Strimel, and it’s straight­for­ward enough:

Write a haiku that in­cor­po­rates a pun, as in the ex­am­ples above from ear­lier Style In­vi­ta­tional haiku con­tests. Yes, yes, they might not fit the clas­sic de­scrip­tion of haiku.

For the pur­poses of this con­test: — The haiku must be three lines long, 5­7­5: with ex­actly five syl­la­bles in the first line, seven in the sec­ond, five in the third. A web­site called How­many­syl­la­ will tell you how many are in a given word, though one might ar­gue with some of its con­clu­sions. — The strict def­i­ni­tion of a pun is a play on words be­tween two words or phrases that sound very much alike, as in the ex­am­ples above. But the Em­press won’t turn away word­plays that use the same word with dif­fer­ent mean­ings. — It’s fine if two or all three of the lines rhyme. Or not. — A ti­tle is op­tional. If there’s a pun in it, all the bet­ter.

Sub­mit en­tries at this web­site:­ter-in­vite-1213 (all low­er­case). Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Memo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy. Sec­ond place gets a very cool night lamp — it’s not re­ally Loserly, to be hon­est, ex­cept for the nerd fac­tor — that forms a some­what 3­D­look­ing im­age of the “Star Wars” Death Star in ro­tat­ing col­ors. You know it’s truly nerdy when its elec­tric plug is a USB. Do­nated by Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tee Kath­leen De­lano.

Other runners-up win the yearned­for “This Is Your Brain on Mugs” Loser mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Pun­man­ship.” Hon­or­able men­tions get one of our new lusted­af­ter Loser mag­nets, “No Child­ish­ness Left Be­hind” or “Mag­num Do­pus.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive only a smelly tree­shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). Dead­line is Mon­day night, Feb. 13; re­sults pub­lished March 5 (on­line March 2). See gen­eral con­test rules and guide­lines at­vRules. The head­line for this week’s re­sults was sug­gested by both Chris Doyle and Jesse Frankovich; Chris also wrote the hon­or­able­men­tions sub­head. Join the lively Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at­vdev. “Like” the Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at­day; fol­low @StyleIn­vite on Twit­ter.

THE STYLE CON­VER­SA­TIONAL The Em­press’s weekly on­line col­umn dis­cusses each new con­test and set of re­sults. Es­pe­cially if you plan to en­ter, check it out at­conv.


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