New con­test for Week 1216: As the word turns

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS -

L-9: Piglav: A bar’s men’s room by last call. P-6: Reggy: How you won’t be de­scrib­ing most fed­eral agen­cies this year. We’re on our third go­round — or go­up, go­down, goside­ways, go­di­ag­o­nally — with our con­test in which you “dis­cover” brand­new words by trac­ing a line through let­ters on a word search grid. The Em­press cre­ated the grid by feed­ing 20 ran­domly gen­er­ated words — in­clud­ing oddities rang­ing from “darr” to “quin­de­cemvi­rate” — into an on­line puzzle gen­er­a­tor, but lots of other real words showed up as well. This week: Create a word or multi-word term that con­sists of ad­ja­cent let­ters — in any di­rec­tion or sev­eral di­rec­tions — in the grid above, and pro­vide a humorous def­i­ni­tion, as in the ex­am­ples above. You may also give an es­pe­cially clever def­i­ni­tion for an ex­ist­ing term you find. And you may use the word in a sen­tence, if that makes your en­try fun­nier. (Even with this many pos­si­ble words, there’s a good chance that many peo­ple will send in the same word, and it’ll come down to the de­scrip­tion.)

IM­POR­TANT: You ab­so­lutely must be­gin each en­try with the let­ter­num­ber co­or­di­nates that mark the first let­ter of your term, as in the ex­am­ples; no way is your rea­son­ably oblig­ing but got­her­lim­its Em­press go­ing to search the grid for it. Also, please don’t be­gin the line with num­ber­ing, bul­lets, etc.; they mess up the en­try­sorting. Sub­mit en­tries at this web­site:­ter-in­vite-1216 (all low­er­case). Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Memo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy. Sec­ond place gets a nifty toy called Toi­let Tunes: It’s an elec­tronic floor pad with some pi­ano keys drawn on it. Tap your feet and make some melodies while you’re, you know, oc­cu­pied with other mat­ters. It is a lit­tle­known fact that Beethoven worked out his Sym­phony No. 2 on a prim­i­tive ver­sion of this in­stru­ment. Do­nated by Loser Nan Reiner, who tried it out and re­ports that it ac­tu­ally works pretty well. Other run­ners-up win the yearned­for “This Is Your Brain on Mugs” Loser mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Pun­man­ship.” Honor­able men­tions get one of our new lusted­af­ter Loser mag­nets, “No Child­ish­ness Left Be­hind” or “Mag­num Do­pus.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive only a smelly tree­shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). Dead­line is Mon­day night, March 6; results pub­lished March 26 (on­line March 23). See gen­eral con­test rules and guide­lines at­vRules. The head­line for this week’s results is by Jesse Frankovich; the honor­able­men­tions sub­head is by Jeff Con­tom­pa­sis. “As the word turns” was an en­try by Dave Pre­var in a pre­vi­ous con­test. Join the lively Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at in­vdev. “Like” Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at­day; fol­low @StyleIn­vite on Twit­ter.

THE STYLE CON­VER­SA­TIONAL The Em­press’s weekly on­line col­umn dis­cusses each new con­test and set of results; this week she’ll show the grid with the 20 words used to make it. Es­pe­cially if you plan to en­ter, check it out at­conv.

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