Week 1217: Merg­ers you wrote Com­bine two busi­nesses with puns

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS -

Cook­ing in­sti­tute/ jour­nal­ism school: Baste On! A True Story (Jane Auerbach)

Dough­nuts/ Jacuzzis: Beignet and the Jets (An­drew Hoenig)

Pet­ting zoo/ bell­smith: A Ram, a Lamb, a DingDong (El­liott Schiff)

Here’s a con­test we’ve done only once be­fore — 12 years ago. The 2005 re­sults were clas­sic, and the Em­press is op­ti­mistic that there’s lot more word­play fod­der out there. This week: Give a clever name to a com­bi­na­tion

of two or more busi­nesses, as in the ex­am­ples above from Week 641. See the 2005 re­sults in this week’s Style Con­ver­sa­tional col­umn at bit.ly/conv1217; not only are they fab­u­lous puns, but they’ll show you which jokes won’t be el­i­gi­ble this time around.

Sub­mit en­tries at this web­site: bit.ly/en­ter-in­vite-1217 (all low­er­case). Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Memo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy. Sec­ond place re­ceives a Potty Bas­ket­ball game, which in­cludes a lit­tle wall­mounted hoop, three mini­balls, a court­mo­tif floor mat, and that all­im­por­tant Do Not Dis­turb sign. This prize may well suit those Losers not mu­si­cally adept enough for last week’s prize, the Toi­let Tunes elec­tronic mat. Do­nated, brand­new, by Loser Steven Steele Caw­man, who got it from Bed Bath & Be­yond, pre­sum­ably in the Be­yond depart­ment.

Other run­ners-up win the yearned­for “This Is Your Brain on Mugs” Loser mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Pun­man­ship.” Honor­able men­tions get one of our new lusted­af­ter Loser mag­nets, “No Child­ish­ness Left Be­hind” or “Mag­num Do­pus.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive only a smelly tree­shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). Dead­line is Mon­day night, March 13; re­sults pub­lished April 2 (on­line March 30). See gen­eral con­test rules and guide­lines at wapo.st/In­vRules. The head­line for this week’s re­sults was sent by both Chris Doyle and Tom Witte; the honor­able­men­tions sub­head is by Jeff Con­tom­pa­sis. Join the lively Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at on.fb.me/in­vdev. “Like” Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at bit.ly/ inkof­day; fol­low @StyleIn­vite on Twit­ter.

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