Is it safe to leave her young chil­dren with their dis­tracted grand­par­ents?

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS - AMY DICK­IN­SON

Dear Amy: My hus­band and I, along with our two chil­dren (ages 3 and 5), will be headed to Florida for a week this spring break with my hus­band’s fam­ily.

He wants us to leave the kids with his par­ents for a day while we go to an amuse­ment park with his sib­lings.

I would love to cul­ti­vate our chil­dren’s re­la­tion­ship with their grand­par­ents (and would love to have a day with adults!), but my in-laws have proved to be dis­tracted babysit­ters.

I have two main con­cerns: The first is that my in-laws carry their nu­mer­ous pills in an over­flow­ing plas­tic bag, and, with­out fail, pills fall out onto the floor un­no­ticed. Some of the pills are pink and look like candy. This keeps me up at night. (Dur­ing the last two-day visit, there were three in­ci­dents in which we found a pill on the floor, de­spite our plead­ing with them to be care­ful.)

The sec­ond con­cern is that the re­sort will have a pool, our kids can­not swim, and the com­bi­na­tion of wa­ter and dis­tractibil­ity gives me great pause.

I know that my hus­band would like to give them this time alone with the kids, al­though he un­der­stands my con­cerns, and I don’t know whether I am be­ing overly cau­tious, or to put my foot down.

Feel­ing Pro­tec­tive

Feel­ing Pro­tec­tive: Your con­cerns are well placed, and you are smart to let your in­stincts (and ex­pe­ri­ence) guide you.

Two chil­dren un­der age 5 are a real hand­ful for some older peo­ple, es­pe­cially if they have health prob­lems (which they ob­vi­ously do). The risks (both in­side and out­side) are con­sid­er­able.

My sug­ges­tion is that you should en­cour­age your hus­band to go with his sib­lings, and you should stay with the kids and the folks, so you can lightly su­per­vise and be their back­stop if they need you. For in­stance, you could take one child to the pool while the grand­par­ents do an ac­tiv­ity with the other, and then switch off. Or, after scour­ing for pills, you could take a book onto the pa­tio and ba­si­cally be nearby, but not hov­er­ing.

Dear Amy: “Torn” won­dered about con­fess­ing to a one-night stand.

I don’t know how or why con­fess­ing to your wronged lover, spouse or who­ever be­came the de­fault po­si­tion in Amer­i­can cul­ture, but from the stand­point of hav­ing lived 77 years, I am ab­so­lutely con­vinced that it is the wrong one.

If you are caught, then of course you have to deal with the fall­out. Other­wise, suf­fer in si­lence, and make amends by never do­ing it again.

Older and Wiser

Older and Wiser: Guilt can be a great teacher. Thank you. or

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