Is it safe to leave her young children with their distracted grandparents?
Dear Amy: My husband and I, along with our two children (ages 3 and 5), will be headed to Florida for a week this spring break with my husband’s family.
He wants us to leave the kids with his parents for a day while we go to an amusement park with his siblings.
I would love to cultivate our children’s relationship with their grandparents (and would love to have a day with adults!), but my in-laws have proved to be distracted babysitters.
I have two main concerns: The first is that my in-laws carry their numerous pills in an overflowing plastic bag, and, without fail, pills fall out onto the floor unnoticed. Some of the pills are pink and look like candy. This keeps me up at night. (During the last two-day visit, there were three incidents in which we found a pill on the floor, despite our pleading with them to be careful.)
The second concern is that the resort will have a pool, our kids cannot swim, and the combination of water and distractibility gives me great pause.
I know that my husband would like to give them this time alone with the kids, although he understands my concerns, and I don’t know whether I am being overly cautious, or to put my foot down.
Feeling Protective: Your concerns are well placed, and you are smart to let your instincts (and experience) guide you.
Two children under age 5 are a real handful for some older people, especially if they have health problems (which they obviously do). The risks (both inside and outside) are considerable.
My suggestion is that you should encourage your husband to go with his siblings, and you should stay with the kids and the folks, so you can lightly supervise and be their backstop if they need you. For instance, you could take one child to the pool while the grandparents do an activity with the other, and then switch off. Or, after scouring for pills, you could take a book onto the patio and basically be nearby, but not hovering.
Dear Amy: “Torn” wondered about confessing to a one-night stand.
I don’t know how or why confessing to your wronged lover, spouse or whoever became the default position in American culture, but from the standpoint of having lived 77 years, I am absolutely convinced that it is the wrong one.
If you are caught, then of course you have to deal with the fallout. Otherwise, suffer in silence, and make amends by never doing it again.
Older and Wiser
Older and Wiser: Guilt can be a great teacher. Thank you. or