Mother mulls kind of­fer from ex-hus­band’s par­ents to host son’s slum­ber party MIKE DU JOUR BY MIKE LESTER

The Washington Post Sunday - - THEATER - ©2017 by Amy Dick­in­son dis­trib­uted by Tri­bune Con­tent Agency AMY DICK­IN­SON

Dear Amy: I’m a sin­gle mom to a won­der­ful boy who will be 10 next month. His father has very lim­ited in­volve­ment and started pay­ing child sup­port only last year be­cause he was or­dered to do so by a judge. He comes around when he feels like it and when he has the time.

Ev­ery year for my son’s birth­day, I end up spend­ing a good chunk of money to throw him a party with his best friends. This year, he de­cided that he wanted a brand-new loft bed, which is about how much a party would cost. His grand­par­ents (on his father’s side) of­fered to let him host a sleep­over at their house, so that I could spend the money on a new bed.

I can’t host a sleep­over with all of those boys in my tiny apart­ment, so I thought it was a great com­pro­mise.

Here’s the rub: I think it would be pre­sump­tu­ous to leave all of the chap­er­on­ing and host­ing du­ties solely to my son’s grand­par­ents, but I’m not com­fort­able spend­ing the night there to help host the party.

I emailed my son’s father and told him when the party is and asked him to make him­self avail­able, but he’s re­fus­ing to do so.

I don’t know what to do. I like my son’s grand­par­ents, but I’m not com­fort­able spend­ing the night at their house to serve as a co-host. What should I do?

Help! De­voted Mom De­voted Mom: Ac­cept your former in-laws’ gen­eros­ity. This could be a great way for them to fur­ther es­tab­lish a great connection with their grand­son and his pals. I agree that you should of­fer to help.

Say to them, “This is a won­der­ful idea, and I would love to help. I’ll come over and be in­volved un­til we get the kids set­tled down, and then I’ll come back in the morn­ing and help make pan­cakes and clean up af­ter the party-apoca­lypse. You should make sure to call me if any­thing comes up dur­ing the night.”

If they of­fer again to have you spend the night, thank them but tell them, “I think I’d be a lit­tle more com­fort­able at my own place; I hope that’s okay with you?”

All in all, th­ese grand­par­ents are stepping up in a won­der­ful way, and you should con­tinue to fos­ter this close­ness, es­pe­cially given the fact that their son is so un­re­li­able. Dear Amy: Thank you for your thought­ful re­sponse to “Athe­ist God­fa­ther,” who had been asked to be a god­fa­ther to a Catholic child. You rightly pointed out how se­ri­ously this role should be ap­proached. I loved your sug­ges­tion that this thought­ful man should of­fer to be the child’s “Gosh father.” Ad­mirer

Ad­mirer: Thank you!

Amy’s column ap­pears seven days a week at wash­ing­ton­post.com/ad­vice. Write to askamy@amy­dick­in­son.com or Amy Dick­in­son, Tri­bune Con­tent Agency, 16650 West­grove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, Tex. 75001. You can also fol­low her @ask­ingamy.

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