Mother mulls kind offer from ex-husband’s parents to host son’s slumber party MIKE DU JOUR BY MIKE LESTER
Dear Amy: I’m a single mom to a wonderful boy who will be 10 next month. His father has very limited involvement and started paying child support only last year because he was ordered to do so by a judge. He comes around when he feels like it and when he has the time.
Every year for my son’s birthday, I end up spending a good chunk of money to throw him a party with his best friends. This year, he decided that he wanted a brand-new loft bed, which is about how much a party would cost. His grandparents (on his father’s side) offered to let him host a sleepover at their house, so that I could spend the money on a new bed.
I can’t host a sleepover with all of those boys in my tiny apartment, so I thought it was a great compromise.
Here’s the rub: I think it would be presumptuous to leave all of the chaperoning and hosting duties solely to my son’s grandparents, but I’m not comfortable spending the night there to help host the party.
I emailed my son’s father and told him when the party is and asked him to make himself available, but he’s refusing to do so.
I don’t know what to do. I like my son’s grandparents, but I’m not comfortable spending the night at their house to serve as a co-host. What should I do?
Help! Devoted Mom Devoted Mom: Accept your former in-laws’ generosity. This could be a great way for them to further establish a great connection with their grandson and his pals. I agree that you should offer to help.
Say to them, “This is a wonderful idea, and I would love to help. I’ll come over and be involved until we get the kids settled down, and then I’ll come back in the morning and help make pancakes and clean up after the party-apocalypse. You should make sure to call me if anything comes up during the night.”
If they offer again to have you spend the night, thank them but tell them, “I think I’d be a little more comfortable at my own place; I hope that’s okay with you?”
All in all, these grandparents are stepping up in a wonderful way, and you should continue to foster this closeness, especially given the fact that their son is so unreliable. Dear Amy: Thank you for your thoughtful response to “Atheist Godfather,” who had been asked to be a godfather to a Catholic child. You rightly pointed out how seriously this role should be approached. I loved your suggestion that this thoughtful man should offer to be the child’s “Gosh father.” Admirer
Admirer: Thank you!
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