Faux weird march: Top protest signs
BY PAT MYERS In Week 1225, in the wake of the Women’s March and March for Science, we asked for some other ideas for marches, along with some ideas for protest signs. 4th place The March to Support Team Sports: We Are the 110 Percent! (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.) 3rd place The Luddite March: Stop Thinking About Tomorrow! (Dave Matuskey, Sacramento) 2nd place and the peach-pit elephant: The March to Support Feline Rights: Cat Lives Matter, Matter, Matter, Matter, Matter, Matter, Matter, Matter, Matter (Ira Allen, Bethesda) And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial: The Million Middle Managers March: If It Were Up to Me, I’d Say Yes (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase) March midness: honorable mentions Signs at the Parents’ March: “Knock it off right now or we’ll turn this country around!” “We’re not angry, America. We’re disappointed.” “You’ve really done it now, Administration! This is your last warning! I mean it this time!” (Sarah Jacobs, New York) At a march protesting the Trump administration: Agent Orange: Destroying Vegetation in 1967, Destroying Democracy in 2017 (Bill Lieberman, Ellicott City, Md.) At a march supporting (or “supporting”) the Trump administration: Resist (Melissa) McCarthyism: Support Spicer “No one Ever Saw Andrew Jackson’s Tax Returns!” (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) Trump/Douglass 2020! (Dan Helming, Maplewood, N.J.) At a march against defense spending: Say No to the Arms Race/ Say Yes to the Alms Race (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.) At the March for Redrawing State Borders: Please Mess With Texas (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.) At the Zombie Rally for a Sustainable Harvest: A Brain Is a Terrible Thing to Waste (Mark Raffman, Reston) At the 540 Billionaires March: I Sleep Quite Well at Night (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.) At the March for Physics Education: I’m Ohm-Schooled (Chris Doyle) At the March for Anarchy: So Why Are We All Walking in the Same Direction? (Mark Raffman) Palindrome Enthusiasts March for Impeachment: What do we want? No Don! When do we want it? Noon! (Jeff Shirley, Richmond) To support funding for public broadcasting: (Support for this march comes from the John T. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, from Lumber Liquidators, and from Viewers Like You.) (Elliott Shevin, Oak Park, Mich.) Amalgamated Picket Sign Painters Local 537 on Strike! Our Placards Were Produced by Filthy Scab Labor (Elliott Shevin) The March for National Reform of Marijuana Laws: I’m With Herb The March for Polygamy: I’m With Her and Her The March to End Binary Gender Assumptions: I’m With Zir (Seth Tucker, Washington) The Rally for Regularity (a.k.a. The Push for Poo, a.k.a. The Bowel Movement): Hell No, We Can’t Go! Love Your Enemas Our Bob Staake’s homage to the darkly funny artist and kindred spirit. The poster is this week’s second prize. This Two Shall Pass (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.) We’re Not Taking This Sitting Down! (unfortunately)” (Edward Gordon, Austin) The March for Exotic Dancers: Twerkers of the World, Unite! We Have the Best Pole Numbers (Jesse Frankovich) The March for Standup Comedians: Shtick Up for Better Pay (Roy Ashley, Washington) The Million Preteen March: Leave Us Alone! We Can March by Ourselves! (Kathleen Cross, Silver Spring) The March for Organ Donation: Can’t We All Just Get a Lung? (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.) Please take note at the March for Safety: Marchers shall wear highvisibility jackets over their life jackets, and shall stay on the sidewalk; that is what it is there for. There shall be no placards, lest one of them puts someone’s eye out . . . . (Michael Rolfe, Cape Town, South Africa) For the March for Metrorail Funding: Hey, We’re Gonna Be Walking Anyway! (Perry Beider, Silver Spring; Mark Raffman) Hey hey! Ho ho! Drsclsng ffrt nxx torp metter sinnaa. Bing bong! (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.) For the Zero Population Growth March: Life Was So Much Easier Without All You People (Warren Tanabe, Annapolis) The Millionth Man March, just one guy with a sign hiking up Pennsylvania Avenue: I’m Him! (Bird Waring) Still running — deadline Tuesday night, May 30: our contest for “secret inspirations” for movie titles. See bit.ly/invite1228.