Trump’s net­works need new WiFi pass­words. Here they are.

Hu­morist Clare Doody has some sug­ges­tions to im­prove se­cu­rity

The Washington Post Sunday - - OUTLOOK - Twit­ter: @clare­doody Clare Doody is a speech­writer with West Wing Writ­ers in Wash­ing­ton.

It turns out that the only thing worse than a pri­vate server is a pub­lic one. Ear­lier this month, two ProP­ub­lica re­porters con­cluded, af­ter test­ing the In­ter­net se­cu­rity mea­sures at four Trump Or­ga­ni­za­tion prop­er­ties, that “any half-de­cent hacker could break into Mar-a-Lago.”

If Pres­i­dent Trump does, in fact, care about safe­guard­ing sen­si­tive na­tional se­cu­rity in­for­ma­tion as much as he in­sisted dur­ing the 2016 cam­paign, here, we imag­ine, are some of the pass­words and se­cu­rity ques­tions he and his ad­min­is­tra­tion may want to up­date. Af­ter all, this time it was just some ProP­ub­lica re­porters, but next time it could be Rus­sia or China or some­body sit­ting on their bed who “weighs 400 pounds, okay”?

Trump cam­paign head­quar­ters at Trump Tower

Net­work: The Cy­ber Pass­word: Lock­Her^ Se­cu­rity ques­tion: What is the name of the high school you at­tended, and which loser in your class is go­ing to be most jeal­ous when you’re pres­i­dent? Hint: His wife is a 4. The West Wing Net­work: Tremen­dous WiFi Re­ally the Best Pass­word: n0rd­str0m5uck5! Se­cu­rity ques­tion: How many daugh­ters do you have? Hint: One more than you think. (As with ice cream scoops, you de­serve a sec­ond.) Mar-a-Lago Net­work: Locker Room_Guest Pass­word: You­Can­DoAny­thing­WhenUrA* Se­cu­rity ques­tion: Who would you rather: Kellyanne, Megyn Kelly, Kelly Ay­otte? Hint: Megyn Kelly is the youngest. Moscow Ritz-Carl­ton Net­work: Here’s_Where_IP Pass­word: P33OTU5 Se­cu­rity ques­tion: How much would you be will­ing to pay us for help­ing you get elected pres­i­dent? Hint: You can an­swer in USD or rubles. FBI sur­veil­lance van No. 2 Net­work: FBI Sur­veil­lance Van 2 Pass­word: small­hands­b1g­sub­poe­nas Se­cu­rity ques­tion: Can we just let this go? Hint: Nope. The Rus­sian spy­ware left in the Oval Of­fice by Sergei Lavrov Net­work Name: OvalOf­fice _Se­cure Pass­word: None Se­cu­rity ques­tion: Tell us an­other na­tional se­cret. Hint: Re­mem­ber, we’ve seen your tax re­turns. Naval Ob­ser­va­tory Net­work: I_Do_Not_Dine_With_Women_Who_Aren’t _My_Wifi Pass­word: pr3s1d3nt46 Se­cu­rity ques­tion: How are you not pres­i­dent yet? Hint: Pa­tience.

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