Trump’s networks need new WiFi passwords. Here they are.
Humorist Clare Doody has some suggestions to improve security
It turns out that the only thing worse than a private server is a public one. Earlier this month, two ProPublica reporters concluded, after testing the Internet security measures at four Trump Organization properties, that “any half-decent hacker could break into Mar-a-Lago.”
If President Trump does, in fact, care about safeguarding sensitive national security information as much as he insisted during the 2016 campaign, here, we imagine, are some of the passwords and security questions he and his administration may want to update. After all, this time it was just some ProPublica reporters, but next time it could be Russia or China or somebody sitting on their bed who “weighs 400 pounds, okay”?
Trump campaign headquarters at Trump Tower
Network: The Cyber Password: LockHer^ Security question: What is the name of the high school you attended, and which loser in your class is going to be most jealous when you’re president? Hint: His wife is a 4. The West Wing Network: Tremendous WiFi Really the Best Password: n0rdstr0m5uck5! Security question: How many daughters do you have? Hint: One more than you think. (As with ice cream scoops, you deserve a second.) Mar-a-Lago Network: Locker Room_Guest Password: YouCanDoAnythingWhenUrA* Security question: Who would you rather: Kellyanne, Megyn Kelly, Kelly Ayotte? Hint: Megyn Kelly is the youngest. Moscow Ritz-Carlton Network: Here’s_Where_IP Password: P33OTU5 Security question: How much would you be willing to pay us for helping you get elected president? Hint: You can answer in USD or rubles. FBI surveillance van No. 2 Network: FBI Surveillance Van 2 Password: smallhandsb1gsubpoenas Security question: Can we just let this go? Hint: Nope. The Russian spyware left in the Oval Office by Sergei Lavrov Network Name: OvalOffice _Secure Password: None Security question: Tell us another national secret. Hint: Remember, we’ve seen your tax returns. Naval Observatory Network: I_Do_Not_Dine_With_Women_Who_Aren’t _My_Wifi Password: pr3s1d3nt46 Security question: How are you not president yet? Hint: Patience.