New con­test for Week 1237: Our al­lit­er­acy cam­paign

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS -

Chris Christie’s Co­pi­ous Corpus Caught in Cocky Com­fort on Closed Coast (Orig­i­nal head­line, from Van­i­ “Chris Christie Caught Sun­bathing Af­ter Clos­ing All State Beaches Over July Fourth Week­end” Here’s a con­test we, amaz­ingly, haven’t done be­fore. It was sug­gested way back last sum­mer, in those in­no­cent times, by Loser Bill Verkuilen, who’d seen an ar­ti­cle about a protest in which en­vi­ron­men­tal ac­tivists left piles of fake ma­nure un­der don­key stat­ues set up at the Demo­cratic Na­tional Con­ven­tion. The As­so­ci­ated Press head­line read: “Frack­ing foes put fake fe­ces un­der don­key art dis­plays.” Bill’s friend thought the AP should have fol­lowed through with the al­lit­er­a­tion, sug­gest­ing “Foes fur­nish fake fe­ces for free­stand­ing fed­eral fac­tion fur­nish­ings.” Bill coun­tered with “Drilling de­nounc­ers de­liver dra­matic DNC don­key doo­doo.” This week: Re­write an ex­ist­ing head­line from any pub­li­ca­tion, print or line — about some­thing in the

news from July 20 to 31, by us­ing al­lit­er­a­tion — start­ing most of the words with the same let­ter (or let­ter sound, as in “Kansas Corn”). In­clude the orig­i­nal head­line and give the pub­li­ca­tion’s name and date. You may use ei­ther news head­lines or ads. While not all the words in the head­line need be­gin with the same let­ter, the ef­fect will prob­a­bly be weak­ened if a sig­nif­i­cant word isn’t with the pro­gram, es­pe­cially if it’s not the first word in the head­line, as in the ex­am­ple above. Sub­mit en­tries at this web­site:­ter­in­vite1237 (all low­er­case). Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Me­mo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy — one of the last few be­fore we come out with a new design. Sec­ond place re­ceives a pair of span­dex leg­gings with the legs’ mus­cles, ten­dons, etc., de­picted on them. Creeeepy. Do­nated by 3,009­time Loser Dave Pre­var. Other run­ners-up win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Pun­man­ship.” Hon­or­able men­tions get one of our lusted­af­ter Loser mag­nets, “No Child­ish­ness Left Be­hind” or “Mag­num Do­pus.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive only a smelly tree­shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). Dead­line is Mon­day night, July 31; re­sults pub­lished Aug. 20 (on­line Aug. 17). See gen­eral con­test rules and guide­lines at In­vRules. The head­line for this week’s re­sults is by Jeff Con­tom­pa­sis; the hon­or­able­men­tions sub­head is by Wil­liam Ken­nard. Join the Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at­vdev. “Like” Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at­day.

 THE STYLE CON­VER­SA­TIONAL, the Em­press’s weekly on­line col­umn, isn’t hap­pen­ing this week or next, but the E will take ques­tions at­ers@wash­

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