New con­test for Week 1240: We GIVE you Limer­ix­i­con XIV

The Washington Post Sunday - - DIVERSIONS -

Most elec­tion re­form­ers be­lieve Con­tri­bu­tions are bad. (How naive!) But my Bi­ble in­structs What to do with my bucks: Says it’s bet­ter to give, then re­ceive. Well, hick­ory dick­ory dock — or, we should say, gick­ory gick­ory gock: It’s time once again for the Limer­ix­i­con, our 14th an­nual check­in with, the project by Chris J. Strolin and his merry team to com­pile a dic­tio­nary of lim­er­icks fea­tur­ing ev­ery word in the English lan­guage. OEDILF projects a com­ple­tion date of Sept. 25, 2076 (ex­actly what it was last Au­gust), and more than 99,000 lim­er­icks have been sub­mit­ted to the web­site — which means that with this week’s con­test, the Loser Com­mu­nity could very well turn over Chris’s limerodome­ter. Last Au­gust the Oedil­fers asked us for gewords; the year be­fore that, we did the ga­. This week: Sup­ply a hu­mor­ous, pre­vi­ously un­pub­lished lim­er­ick sig­nif­i­cantly fea­tur­ing any English word, name or term be­gin­ning with “gh-” or “gi-,” as in the ex­am­ple above by Chris Doyle that got ink in the bd­to­bi­ con­test in 2005. See­er­icks2017 for our fairly strict rules on lim­er­ick rhyme and me­ter (in a nut­shell: “per­fect” rhyme, and a strong “hick­ory­dick­ory­dock” rhythm in Lines 1, 2 and 5; a “dick­ory­dock” in Lines 3 and 4; plus “weak” syl­la­bles on ei­ther side). See about sub­mit­ting lim­er­icks there af­ter this con­test is over. Sub­mit en­tries at this web­site:­ter-in­vite1240 (all low­er­case). Win­ner gets the Inkin’ Me­mo­rial, the Lin­coln statue bob­ble­head that is the of­fi­cial Style In­vi­ta­tional tro­phy — one of the last few be­fore we come out with a new de­sign. Sec­ond place re­ceives — brought back from Italy by Loser Elden Car­na­han — a T­shirt list­ing 66 paro­lacce, or ex­tremely crude Ital­ian terms, com­plete with English (or in some cases, bro­ken­English) trans­la­tions. Note: If you have the slight­est amount of de­cency, the Em­press will hap­pily sub­sti­tute a more deco­rous prize. Other run­ners-up win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Pun­man­ship.” Honor­able men­tions get one of our lusted­af­ter Loser mag­nets, “No Child­ish­ness Left Be­hind” or “Mag­num Do­pus.” First Of­fend­ers re­ceive only a smelly tree­shaped air “fresh­ener” (FirStink for their first ink). Dead­line is Mon­day night, Aug. 21; re­sults pub­lished Sept. 10 (on­line Sept. 7). See gen­eral con­test rules and guide­lines at­vRules. The head­line for this week’s re­sults is by Nan Reiner; the honor­able­men­tions sub­head is by Wil­liam Ken­nard. Join the Style In­vi­ta­tional Devo­tees group on Face­book at in­vdev. “Like” Style In­vi­ta­tional Ink of the Day on Face­book at­day; fol­low @StyleIn­vite on Twit­ter.

THE STYLE CON­VER­SA­TIONAL The Em­press’s weekly on­line col­umn dis­cusses each new con­test and set of re­sults. Es­pe­cially if you plan to en­ter, check it out at­conv.

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