What happens when hubby stays in Vegas?
DEAR ABBY: “Darrel” and I have been married for 28 years. I thought we had an easy, comfortable relationship. We have no children; it’s just the two of us with a large family of furry animals. We don’t take vacations together because one of us has to be home to care for the animals.
Last year, Darrel took four trips to Las Vegas — two for business and two for special sporting events. I’m beginning to get little nagging signals that he may not have been on these trips alone.
He shuts off his phone for hours at a time and changed the password on his computer after I had to get on it for a security update. The last time he went, he told me he had won two tickets in Las Vegas to a show, so I asked him to bring the extra one home so I could see it. When he returned, he didn’t have it. He said he had misplaced it.
There are other things, too, and I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to hurt his feelings if there isn’t anything going on, but I need to know. What do I do? — WHAT HAPPENED IN VEGAS?
DEAR WHAT HAPPENED IN VEGAS: If your intuition is telling you something is wrong, listen to it. Tell Darrel you’re feeling insecure and why. Start going with him to Las Vegas. Hire a pet sitter if necessary. It will be money well spent. If your husband isn’t open to it, hire a private investigator to tell you what’s going on. Clearly, something is up.
DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old son, “Kenny,” is being bullied at school. He was punched so hard in the stomach that I had to get him medical care. I have called the school board and no one has done anything about it. What else can I do? Kenny is small for his age and weighs only 40 pounds. I’m worried for him. — WORRIED ABOUT MY BOY IN TULSA
DEAR WORRIED: Assuming that you already have spoken to your son’s teacher and the principal at his school, as well as having contacted the school board, your next step would be to discuss this with a lawyer. The fact that your son was hit so hard that he needed medical attention should be all the proof he or she needs to help you deal with this.
DEAR ABBY: I have muscular dystrophy and am beginning to need my wheelchair full time. My friends and family are doing whatever they can to make their homes accessible so I am not left out of activities. They mean everything to me, and I depend on them a great deal.
My wheelchair can be unforgiving when going around doorways, hardwood flooring, etc. It’s inevitable that I will damage something in someone’s home and I will feel terrible about it. What should I do when this happens? I may not even know I did it. I can’t fix every scratch I make or clean every track I leave on the rug. I want to be invited, but I also want to be a good guest. What do you think? — PLANNING IN ADVANCE, COLUMBUS, OHIO
DEAR PLANNING IN ADVANCE: Because you are wisely planning in advance, this is a conversation you should have with your family and friends now, before the need arises. Explain your concerns and offer to pay for the repair of any damage caused by your wheelchair. I’m sure the offer will be appreciated, whether or not they take you up on it in the event of an accident.