What hap­pens when hubby stays in Ve­gas?

The Washington Times Daily - - Life - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN

DEAR ABBY: “Dar­rel” and I have been mar­ried for 28 years. I thought we had an easy, com­fort­able re­la­tion­ship. We have no chil­dren; it’s just the two of us with a large fam­ily of furry an­i­mals. We don’t take va­ca­tions to­gether be­cause one of us has to be home to care for the an­i­mals.

Last year, Dar­rel took four trips to Las Ve­gas — two for busi­ness and two for spe­cial sport­ing events. I’m be­gin­ning to get lit­tle nag­ging sig­nals that he may not have been on these trips alone.

He shuts off his phone for hours at a time and changed the pass­word on his com­puter af­ter I had to get on it for a se­cu­rity up­date. The last time he went, he told me he had won two tick­ets in Las Ve­gas to a show, so I asked him to bring the ex­tra one home so I could see it. When he re­turned, he didn’t have it. He said he had mis­placed it.

There are other things, too, and I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to hurt his feel­ings if there isn’t any­thing go­ing on, but I need to know. What do I do? — WHAT HAP­PENED IN VE­GAS?

DEAR WHAT HAP­PENED IN VE­GAS: If your in­tu­ition is telling you some­thing is wrong, lis­ten to it. Tell Dar­rel you’re feel­ing in­se­cure and why. Start go­ing with him to Las Ve­gas. Hire a pet sit­ter if nec­es­sary. It will be money well spent. If your hus­band isn’t open to it, hire a pri­vate in­ves­ti­ga­tor to tell you what’s go­ing on. Clearly, some­thing is up.

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old son, “Kenny,” is be­ing bul­lied at school. He was punched so hard in the stom­ach that I had to get him med­i­cal care. I have called the school board and no one has done any­thing about it. What else can I do? Kenny is small for his age and weighs only 40 pounds. I’m wor­ried for him. — WOR­RIED ABOUT MY BOY IN TULSA

DEAR WOR­RIED: As­sum­ing that you al­ready have spo­ken to your son’s teacher and the prin­ci­pal at his school, as well as hav­ing con­tacted the school board, your next step would be to dis­cuss this with a lawyer. The fact that your son was hit so hard that he needed med­i­cal at­ten­tion should be all the proof he or she needs to help you deal with this.

DEAR ABBY: I have mus­cu­lar dys­tro­phy and am be­gin­ning to need my wheel­chair full time. My friends and fam­ily are do­ing what­ever they can to make their homes ac­ces­si­ble so I am not left out of ac­tiv­i­ties. They mean ev­ery­thing to me, and I de­pend on them a great deal.

My wheel­chair can be un­for­giv­ing when go­ing around door­ways, hard­wood floor­ing, etc. It’s in­evitable that I will dam­age some­thing in some­one’s home and I will feel ter­ri­ble about it. What should I do when this hap­pens? I may not even know I did it. I can’t fix ev­ery scratch I make or clean ev­ery track I leave on the rug. I want to be in­vited, but I also want to be a good guest. What do you think? — PLAN­NING IN AD­VANCE, COLUM­BUS, OHIO

DEAR PLAN­NING IN AD­VANCE: Be­cause you are wisely plan­ning in ad­vance, this is a con­ver­sa­tion you should have with your fam­ily and friends now, be­fore the need arises. Ex­plain your con­cerns and of­fer to pay for the re­pair of any dam­age caused by your wheel­chair. I’m sure the of­fer will be ap­pre­ci­ated, whether or not they take you up on it in the event of an ac­ci­dent.


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