The alarmist league

The Democrats re­cruit sports stars to make global warm­ing cool

The Washington Times Daily - - Editorial -

Mem­bers of Congress are hot un­der the col­lar about global warm­ing, and they’re anx­ious to do some­thing about it. As cochair­men of the Bi­cam­eral Task Force on Cli­mate Change, Rep. Henry A. Wax­man of Cal­i­for­nia and Sen. Shel­don White­house of Rhode Is­land hud­dled Thurs­day with ex­ec­u­tives of the ma­jor sports leagues to talk about re­cruit­ing third base­men, power for­wards, lineback­ers and mas­ters of the hockey puck to save the planet.

Of­fi­cials from Ma­jor League Base­ball, the Na­tional Foot­ball League, the Na­tional Hockey League, the Na­tional Bas­ket­ball As­so­ci­a­tion and WNBA, and the U.S. Olympic Com­mit­tee want to show that pro­fes­sional sports is “tak­ing the threat of cli­mate change se­ri­ously and do­ing [its] part to re­duce [carbon-diox­ide] emis­sions.”

Apart from the ath­letes huff­ing out clouds of carbon diox­ide as they sweat, it’s not re­ally clear that throw­ing a long ball or hit­ting a puck with a stick con­trib­utes much to pre­serv­ing the ice caps and sav­ing po­lar bears. Con­spic­u­ously ab­sent from the po­lit­i­cally cor­rect con­clave was NAS­CAR, the one sport­ing or­ga­ni­za­tion that ar­guably does throw out mea­sur­able amounts of CO2.

Per­haps the in­vi­ta­tion was can­celed af­ter one of NAS­CAR’s most pop­u­lar per­son­al­i­ties, Dale Earn­hardt Jr., ap­peared in a TV com­mer­cial last year for the coal in­dus­try. “At my com­pany,” Mr. Earn­hardt says in the ad, “the cars run on gas, but the busi­ness runs on elec­tric­ity. That’s why I’ve been learn­ing about how coal keeps elec­tric­ity prices down.” Af­ford­able en­ergy is anath­ema to global warm­ing alarmists who want prices to as­cend into the strato­sphere to en­cour­age “con­ser­va­tion.”

The alarmists seek high-pro­file in­sti­tu­tions and or­ga­ni­za­tions to make global warm­ing cool again. Per­haps the ath­letes can per­suade their bosses to re­place arena light­ing with com­pact flu­o­res­cent bulbs. Mon­day Night Foot­ball and noc­tur­nal base­ball could be can­celed in fa­vor of af­ter­noon games, the way it used to be. Per­haps they’ll be re­quired to make all the base­balls, foot­balls and bas­ket­balls with ve­gan leather, since all of that cowhide and pigskin comes from bovine and porcine sources of meth­ane that they in­sist con­trib­utes to global warm­ing. Nat­u­rally, they’ll have to co­or­di­nate travel to road games with plane-pools.

NAS­CAR could do its part by re­plac­ing the Sprint Cup cars and their thun­der­ing V-8 in­ter­nal-com­bus­tion en­gines with race cars based on the Chevy Volt and Nis­san Leaf elec­tric au­to­mo­biles. In­stead of top­ping off with gaso­line at pit stops, crowds could wait on the edge of their seats for hours not sec­onds as the cars are plugged in for charg­ing. Ei­ther that, or get longer ex­ten­sion cords.

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