Wife’s job at the gym has hus­band in a sweat

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been mar­ried for al­most 11 years and have three chil­dren. About four years ago my wife cheated on me and left. Af­ter a six-week split, we de­cided we wanted to work things out. Ev­ery­thing was great — un­til re­cently, when she got a job work­ing at a busy gym.

Sev­eral of the guys from the gym have added her on Face­book and send her mes­sages. They like all her posts and pic­tures. I work out there and when I go in, I see her laugh­ing and jok­ing with them. This has all started to bring me flash­backs to when she cheated.

I tried talk­ing to her about how I feel, but she just says they are my in­se­cu­rity is­sues and I need to deal with them. At this point, I’m con­tem­plat­ing di­vorce so I won’t go through the same pain I went through last time. I check her Face­book page con­stantly to see if she has added any new guys and see what com­ments they are leav­ing. I know it’s not healthy. My wife has no in­ter­est in mar­riage coun­sel­ing, but tells me I should seek pro­fes­sional help for my is­sues. Is there any sav­ing this mar­riage, or is it time to move on? — THREAT­ENED IN TEXAS

DEAR THREAT­ENED: Part of your wife’s job is to be friendly to the mem­bers of that gym. It doesn’t mean that she’s in­volved with any of them out­side of work. The prob­lem with jeal­ousy and in­se­cu­rity is that un­less they are man­aged, they tend to feed on each other and grow. While I can’t ban­ish the sus­pi­cions from your mind, some ses­sions with a li­censed men­tal health pro­fes­sional might help you to put them into per­spec­tive. It may save your mar­riage. How­ever, if it doesn’t ease your mind, you can al­ways talk to a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I take a main­te­nance pain pill for arthri­tis. I count them every other day to make sure that I’m not tak­ing too many.

My daugh­ter has been com­ing to my house a lot lately, and — not every time, but off and on — I’ll count my pills af­ter she leaves, and my count doesn’t match the one from the day be­fore. Some­times I’m miss­ing al­most all of them, but when I talk to my daugh­ter and ask if she took them, she al­ways says she didn’t. If I ask nicely, “Are you sure?” she ac­cuses me of call­ing her a liar.

I know she’s tak­ing them, but I don’t know what to do about her ly­ing to me about it. I re­ally need the pills for my­self. The doc­tor pre­scribes them only once a month, and I know I’m go­ing to run out.

What should I do? I don’t want to hurt my daugh­ter’s feel­ings, but she needs to stop tak­ing my pills. — IN PAIN IN KANSAS

DEAR IN PAIN: Your daugh­ter may have be­come ad­dicted to your pain med­i­ca­tion or be sell­ing them to peo­ple who are. It’s time to start keep­ing your pills un­der lock and key. Once you do, your daugh­ter may be forced to come clean about the ly­ing — or you may find you’re see­ing a lot less of her than you presently do.

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