Young son confused by sex is ready to have ‘the talk’
DEAR ABBY: I divorced last year after 14 years of marriage. We have a 10-year-old son together. While staying with his father on weekends, he has overheard his father and new girlfriend having sex. It has happened a couple of times, and each time my son comes home in tears. His father has promised to not let it happen again.
My son is now worried that I’m doing the same thing, and he is treating me like I am the child and he’s the parent. He seems to think that people have sex only to have babies, and he is worried.
Do I need to get him some kind of counseling, or will this get better as he gets older and matures? I’m angry that his father didn’t use his head before choosing his actions, and now I’m the one being punished for it. — TOO MUCH FOR MY SON
DEAR TOO MUCH: If your son hasn’t had “the talk” with you or his father, it should start immediately so he knows that having sex doesn’t always mean the result will be babies. And while you’re at it, tell your son that you are not planning to have anymore children anytime soon, so he has no reason to worry about you.
DEAR ABBY: I volunteer at a local hospital. We were told in training not to come to work if we were sick. One volunteer I work with didn’t heed what he was told and showed up last week sneezing and coughing. When I asked if he wanted to go home, he declined. Although I cleaned his workstation with an antiseptic, a few days later I came down with the worst cold I have had in years.
I take care not to do anything to jeopardize my good health, but I had no control over this situation. I think it is extremely thoughtless of sick people to expose co-workers to their germs. Please, people, stay home when you are sick! — STILL RECOVERING IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR STILL RECOVERING: I hear you loud and clear, and I agree. Your co-worker should be ashamed of himself. If he infected you, I can only wonder how many of the patients were put at risk or infected. As soon as you saw your co-worker had come to work sick, you should have informed your supervisor. If you had, it might have saved you some misery.
DEAR ABBY: My so-called boyfriend asked me to marry him. The problem is, he’s already married to a woman he married for financial reasons. He doesn’t believe in divorce, so where does that leave me? Yes, I love him, but I feel hurt and my heart is heavy. He doesn’t know that I know all of this, and if he did, he would probably be upset. What should I do? — HURTING HEART
DEAR HURTING HEART: I know your heart is heavy. Any woman’s heart would be if she found herself in your situation. If your boyfriend’s wife knew what he was proposing, I’ll bet SHE would believe in divorce.
Tell him to get lost, and run in the opposite direction! Whether it “upsets” him is irrelevant. The last thing you need is a cheater. He will never marry you because he’s already married — to his meal ticket.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.