Young son con­fused by sex is ready to have ‘the talk’

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE -

DEAR ABBY: I divorced last year af­ter 14 years of mar­riage. We have a 10-year-old son to­gether. While stay­ing with his fa­ther on week­ends, he has over­heard his fa­ther and new girl­friend hav­ing sex. It has hap­pened a cou­ple of times, and each time my son comes home in tears. His fa­ther has promised to not let it hap­pen again.

My son is now wor­ried that I’m do­ing the same thing, and he is treat­ing me like I am the child and he’s the par­ent. He seems to think that peo­ple have sex only to have ba­bies, and he is wor­ried.

Do I need to get him some kind of coun­sel­ing, or will this get bet­ter as he gets older and ma­tures? I’m an­gry that his fa­ther didn’t use his head be­fore choos­ing his ac­tions, and now I’m the one be­ing pun­ished for it. — TOO MUCH FOR MY SON

DEAR TOO MUCH: If your son hasn’t had “the talk” with you or his fa­ther, it should start im­me­di­ately so he knows that hav­ing sex doesn’t al­ways mean the re­sult will be ba­bies. And while you’re at it, tell your son that you are not plan­ning to have any­more chil­dren any­time soon, so he has no rea­son to worry about you.

DEAR ABBY: I vol­un­teer at a lo­cal hos­pi­tal. We were told in train­ing not to come to work if we were sick. One vol­un­teer I work with didn’t heed what he was told and showed up last week sneez­ing and cough­ing. When I asked if he wanted to go home, he de­clined. Al­though I cleaned his work­sta­tion with an an­ti­sep­tic, a few days later I came down with the worst cold I have had in years.

I take care not to do any­thing to jeop­ar­dize my good health, but I had no con­trol over this sit­u­a­tion. I think it is ex­tremely thought­less of sick peo­ple to ex­pose co-work­ers to their germs. Please, peo­ple, stay home when you are sick! — STILL RE­COV­ER­ING IN OK­LA­HOMA

DEAR STILL RE­COV­ER­ING: I hear you loud and clear, and I agree. Your co-worker should be ashamed of him­self. If he in­fected you, I can only won­der how many of the pa­tients were put at risk or in­fected. As soon as you saw your co-worker had come to work sick, you should have in­formed your su­per­vi­sor. If you had, it might have saved you some mis­ery.

DEAR ABBY: My so-called boyfriend asked me to marry him. The prob­lem is, he’s al­ready mar­ried to a woman he mar­ried for fi­nan­cial rea­sons. He doesn’t be­lieve in di­vorce, so where does that leave me? Yes, I love him, but I feel hurt and my heart is heavy. He doesn’t know that I know all of this, and if he did, he would prob­a­bly be upset. What should I do? — HURT­ING HEART

DEAR HURT­ING HEART: I know your heart is heavy. Any woman’s heart would be if she found her­self in your sit­u­a­tion. If your boyfriend’s wife knew what he was propos­ing, I’ll bet SHE would be­lieve in di­vorce.

Tell him to get lost, and run in the op­po­site di­rec­tion! Whether it “up­sets” him is ir­rel­e­vant. The last thing you need is a cheater. He will never marry you be­cause he’s al­ready mar­ried — to his meal ticket.

Dear Abby is written by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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