Theft of prized pos­ses­sions leaves wife feel­ing be­trayed

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN

DEAR ABBY: I re­cently re­al­ized that my mother-in-law stole sev­eral of my prized pos­ses­sions. It seems that my hus­band’s broth­ers, who helped us move when we lost our home, took the items (ob­vi­ously at her re­quest and with her ap­proval) in­stead of plac­ing them in the stor­age unit as in­structed.

I am fu­ri­ous at her and my hus­band’s broth­ers. How should I deal with this? I want to con­front her and let her know that I am aware of her be­trayal, but my hus­band is a great man, and I hate to hurt him in this process.

When I told him I was aware that his mother had stolen from us, he said he would make it up to me and that his mother is old (she’s 81) and I should let it go. How­ever, every time I visit her home and see my things it hurts. How should I deal with this? I feel raped. — FU­RI­OUS IN TEN­NESSEE

DEAR FU­RI­OUS: If the items are re­place­able, let your hus­band do as he promised. If they are heir­looms, you will ei­ther have to wait un­til she dies to re­claim them or go over there and de­mand that she give them back.

DEAR ABBY: I am a se­nior-aged man who swims three times a week at a nearby fitness cen­ter. I shower there af­ter each swim. Sel­dom do I use the shower in my apart­ment. My son has rep­ri­manded me strongly for not show­er­ing daily. He as­serted that by not show­er­ing every day and by us­ing a pub­lic fa­cil­ity when I do, I am prac­tic­ing “very poor hy­giene.”

I be­lieve that my hy­giene rou­tine is ac­cept­able and in line with com­mon prac­tice, but I’m con­cerned that in or­der to visit with him in the fu­ture, I will first need to take a shower. Am I wrong here, or is he? — NOT SHOW­ER­ING ENOUGH

DEAR NOT SHOW­ER­ING: With apolo­gies to Wil­liam Shake­speare: To shower or not to shower, that is the ques­tion: Whether ‘tis no­bler in the mind to suf­fer the slings and ar­rows of your son’s crit­i­cism or to stand up for your­self (in a sea of snip­ing) is up to you.

From where I sit — far down­wind — if you can pass the smell test, show­er­ing three times a week is all that’s nec­es­sary for proper hy­giene. Do not al­low your son to shake your self-con­fi­dence.

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