Grand­par­ents’ pink grad gift comes right out of the blue

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN AN­DREWS MCMEEL SYN­DI­CA­TION

DEAR ABBY: My daugh­ter is grad­u­at­ing from high school in May. She has been ac­cepted to a pres­ti­gious univer­sity, en­tirely due to her own hard work.

My fa­ther-in-law re­cently in­formed us that his new wife had se­lected our daugh­ter’s grad­u­a­tion present, and they are ex­cited to give it to her. They chose a pink lug­gage set. My hus­band and I are mys­ti­fied about why they de­cided this would be the per­fect gift. We know she will be em­bar­rassed — but gra­cious. We would like to spare her the awk­ward­ness and hav­ing to re­turn an in­ap­pro­pri­ate gift.

Abby, would it be rude of us to strongly en­cour­age them to re­think their gift? How do we broach the sub­ject so we don’t cause hurt feel­ings or a rift? We are grate­ful for their gen­eros­ity, but we know the gift won’t suit our grad. — MYS­TI­FIED MOTHER

DEAR MOTHER: I do not ad­vise your be­com­ing in­volved with this. Warn your daugh­ter in ad­vance what the gift will be so she isn’t caught flat-footed on grad­u­a­tion day. If she chooses to ex­change the lug­gage for some­thing she feels will be more ap­pro­pri­ate, she should do so. Lug­gage that stands out like a sore thumb may be eas­ier to spot on an air­port carousel, but it can also be more vul­ner­a­ble to theft than some­thing that blends in.

DEAR ABBY: I have a tough prob­lem. I care very much for my girl­friend. She keeps me in check and does ev­ery­thing for me. How­ever, my best friend’s sis­ter and I are ex­tremely close. By close, I mean we have con­ver­sa­tions about how things would be if we were dat­ing. We have so much fun to­gether. We never, ever ar­gue, whereas my girl­friend and I are con­stantly fight­ing. I le­git­i­mately want the other girl, but I don’t know what I should do. — SCARED AND STUCK IN ST. PAUL

DEAR SCARED AND STUCK: You are a free man, nei­ther mar­ried nor en­gaged. Be­cause you have ro­man­tic feel­ings for some­one else, gather your courage and level with your girl­friend. Tell her that while you ap­pre­ci­ate ev­ery­thing she has done for you, you want to be free to date other peo­ple and think she should, too. The news will prob­a­bly come as a shock to her, but it’s the hon­est thing to do and bet­ter for both of you.

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