El­i­gi­ble woman be­moans the hordes of clue­less men

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. AN­DREWS MCMEEL SYN­DI­CA­TION

DEAR ABBY: Could you ex­plain to me why, as a species, men are so blind and stupid? There are mil­lions of smart, funny, sweet, at­trac­tive — even sexy — el­i­gi­ble women to whom men do not give a sec­ond glance, or even ac­knowl­edge that these won­der­ful women ex­ist. Then, these clue­less guys moan about how they can’t find a good woman, can’t find love, have a hard time get­ting sex, etc., when there are scores of po­ten­tially awe­some part­ners right un­der their noses! Why don’t men ever grow up? Even men in their 40s, 50s and 60s suf­fer from the same stu­pid­ity about the dat­ing scene as teenage boys. I re­peat: WHY?! — EL­I­GI­BLE LADY IN ALABAMA

DEAR EL­I­GI­BLE: Cou­pling up can be com­pli­cated these days, be­cause many vari­ables can come into play. In­di­vid­u­als of both sexes can be ad­dicted to a “type” they fan­ta­size about, chase the il­lu­sion of eter­nal youth by pur­su­ing un­suit­able part­ners and/or be com­mit­ment-pho­bic.

That said, you might have bet­ter luck with men if you didn’t stereo­type them, be­cause some of them are en­coun­ter­ing the same prob­lems you are. And be­lieve me, they are mys­ti­fied, too.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl who has a lot of friends at school, but lately there has been some ten­sion com­ing from one of them. “Belle” missed an event that was very im­por­tant to her. She’s usu­ally easy­go­ing, but since then she hasn’t been her­self, and it’s start­ing to worry some of us. We have tried ev­ery­thing from talk­ing about her fa­vorite topic to try­ing to write a song for her. Some­times

she acts like her­self, but other times she gives me and an­other friend the silent treat­ment and the cold shoul­der. Is she a friend worth keep­ing? — CON­CERNED FRIEND IN ALABAMA

DEAR CON­CERNED: You won’t know what’s caus­ing Belle to act the way she is un­less you ask her di­rectly. There may be more go­ing on in her life than you are aware of that has noth­ing to do with you. If she’s do­ing it be­cause she’s hurt and you weren’t at fault, clear the air so she knows it. But un­der­stand that the time to be a friend is when some­body needs one.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, I lost my wife of 32 years. Every month, on the an­niver­sary of her death, I buy flowers for my house to honor her.

I am now en­gaged to a won­der­ful woman. She un­der­stands that I will al­ways grieve for the wife I lost, and she has al­ways shown re­spect for the way I show my grief. My ques­tion is, should I stop buy­ing flowers to honor my first wife once my fi­ancee and I get mar­ried and move into a house of our own? I want her to know that she holds the No. 1 place in my heart. — TIME TO MOVE ON IN PENN­SYL­VA­NIA

DEAR TTMO: I’m glad you asked. Al­though the sen­ti­ment be­hind those flowers is beau­ti­ful, I do not think it would be ap­pro­pri­ate for you to bring flowers for your late wife into the home you will share with your next one. If you feel the need to honor your first wife, place flowers on her grave on her birth­day.

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