Ev­ery­thing set for woman’s di­vorce ex­cept for le­gal fee

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. AN­DREWS MCMEEL SYN­DI­CA­TION

DEAR ABBY: I’ve al­ways been a self-suf­fi­cient woman. I grew up in an abu­sive house­hold, moved out at 16, and cut off con­tact with my fam­ily a cou­ple of years later when it be­came ap­par­ent noth­ing would change.

Nine months ago, my hus­band walked out on me and our 3-year-old son. He has no in­ter­est in our child. Our room­mate, “Matt,” be­came “Daddy” to my son with my ex’s bless­ing.

I want a di­vorce, but I’m not sure how to pro­ceed. My ex and I have talked; he wants to give up his parental rights, and I have no in­ter­est in get­ting child sup­port from him. All I want is my son.

I can’t af­ford a lawyer right now be­cause of some fi­nan­cial obli­ga­tions my ex left me sad­dled with, but I don’t want to put this off. If any­thing were to hap­pen to me, my son would go to my ex in­stead of the man he con­sid­ers his dad.

All my friends are either hap­pily mar­ried or sin­gle, and I have no fam­ily to turn to for ad­vice. I’m not re­li­gious, so I have no cler­gyper­son to con­sult. Is there some­place I can turn to for help in end­ing this mar­riage, or do I just need to save up un­til I can af­ford le­gal coun­sel? -- SIN­GLE MOM IN OREGON

DEAR SIN­GLE MOM: Your next step should be to con­tact your state bar as­so­ci­a­tion and find out if there are low-cost le­gal ser­vices in your area. If both par­ties are in agree­ment, a di­vorce can be am­i­ca­ble and not ex­pen­sive. I wish you luck; do not pro­cras­ti­nate.

DEAR ABBY: Some nights I talk in my sleep. It doesn’t hap­pen ev­ery night, and there is no rhyme or rea­son for it. Re­cently my hus­band told me I said some­thing dur­ing my sleep that made him an­gry. He didn’t want to get into a fight, so we haven’t dis­cussed it more. I sus­pect I may have been hav­ing an “adult” dream and said a name other than his.

Now he tries to stay up later than me. I think he may be try­ing to ques­tion me while I’m sleep­ing in or­der to get more in­for­ma­tion out of me on the sub­ject. My doc­tor said there is no guar­an­tee my re­sponse would be true or even re­lated to the ques­tions my hus­band asked me.

Should I con­front my hus­band about what­ever is both­er­ing him, or keep stress­ing my­self out about what I may be say­ing in my sleep? -- NIGHT TALKER IN IN­DI­ANA

DEAR NIGHT TALKER: Def­i­nitely talk to your hus­band and try to clear the air, be­cause avoid­ing the sub­ject isn’t healthy. If he’s re­ally sus­pi­cious be­cause of some­thing you may have said while you were dream­ing, dis­cussing this to­gether with your doc­tor may put his mind at ease.

How­ever, if it doesn’t, then I rec­om­mend you sched­ule a con­sul­ta­tion for both of you with a sleep dis­or­der spe­cial­ist who can make clear that what peo­ple mum­ble dur­ing a dream se­quence is not an in­di­ca­tion of in­fi­delity (or re­al­ity).

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