Ex-wife’s anger at friend’s be­trayal spills over to daugh­ter


DEAR ABBY: My ex-hus­band had an affair with a woman who was one of my dear­est friends. My heart is bro­ken; my mar­riage is over. I have lost my home and my friend. It has been a strug­gle for me to re­cover.

My daugh­ter, with whom I am very close, con­tin­ues to have a re­la­tion­ship with this woman. While I know it’s not my place to tell her who to be friends with (she’s 22),

I can’t help but feel be­trayed.

My daugh­ter is preg­nant, and this woman seems to be at­tempt­ing to play mother and push her way into ev­ery de­tail of my daugh­ter’s preg­nancy. It’s ex­tremely up­set­ting to me to have to share one more thing with her. She al­ready took my home and hus­band; I would like to keep my daugh­ter and grand­baby. What to do? — THE REAL GRANDMA-TO-BE

DEAR REAL GRANDMA: Al­though you can­not cut this woman com­pletely out of your life be­cause she is now with your ex, calmly dis­cuss this with your daugh­ter. She may have rea­sons that you are un­aware of for want­ing to in­clude the woman to the ex­tent that she has.

DEAR ABBY: We need help with our dad. Many of his grand­chil­dren par­tic­i­pate in sports. For some rea­son, he thinks it’s per­fectly fine to sit in the stands sur­rounded by peo­ple he doesn’t know and loudly crit­i­cize the other play­ers.

We talk to him be­fore the games. We re­mind him that he’s sit­ting by these play­ers’ parents and what he’s do­ing is not cool. Some of the parents be­come quite emo­tional if things don’t go well and Dad doesn’t need to be do­ing this. .

Have you any ideas on get­ting Grandpa to keep his opin­ions to him­self? We don’t want to ban him from games and treat him like a 5-year-old who can’t be­have, since he is still able to travel to see us for these vis­its. We try to sit away from oth­ers, but it’s not al­ways pos­si­ble. — EM­BAR­RASSED IN HOUS­TON

DEAR EM­BAR­RASSED: You al­ready know the an­swer to your prob­lem, and I do not un­der­stand why you haven’t taken ac­tion. Was your fa­ther al­ways this way, or has he be­come de­mented? When an adult acts like a 5-year-old and be­haves in­ap­pro­pri­ately af­ter hav­ing been cau­tioned against it, there is cause for con­cern.

If he is un­able to con­trol his be­hav­ior at those games, in­stead of be­ing al­lowed to ruin them for every­one within earshot, he should AB­SO­LUTELY be banned from at­tend­ing. If you won’t do it for the sake of the play­ers and other parents, then do it for your fa­ther’s safety be­cause one of these days, an irate par­ent or rel­a­tive may punch his lights out.

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