New house re­spon­si­bil­i­ties put wife down in dumps


DEAR ABBY: My hus­band de­cided to buy a house. I never wanted one and now I’m de­pressed.

I am thank­ful that my hus­band pro­vides for the fam­ily and puts a roof over our heads, but now that we are in our house, my days are spent do­ing chores, yard work, and clean­ing, clean­ing and clean­ing. This is why I never wanted the re­spon­si­bil­ity of a house.

I don’t have time for my fam­ily be­cause I’m so busy main­tain­ing this house I never wanted.

I have been dis­tant from my hus­band be­cause I se­cretly de­spise him for putting me in this po­si­tion when he knew it wasn’t what I wanted. Am I be­ing self­ish? — DON’T WANT THE RE­SPON­SI­BIL­ITY

DEAR DON’T: Self­ish? No. Pas­sive-ag­gres­sive, yes. The prob­lem with pas­sive ag­gres­sion is that the prob­lem never gets re­solved. If you feel you have too much on your shoul­ders, tell your hus­band how you are feel­ing so he can ei­ther help you with the chores, or hire some­one to do the yard work and some of the clean­ing.

DEAR ABBY: I love help­ing oth­ers, but I’m ready to quit ev­ery vol­un­teer job I have. I’m tired of peo­ple who are not vol­un­teers telling me I am do­ing my job wrong.

When you vol­un­teer, you are given train­ing on how to do your job. You drive to the site us­ing your own gas, spend your time help­ing oth­ers, and a lot of times you spend your own money to ob­tain the sup­plies you need to do the job.

I could be spend­ing my time — and re­sources — do­ing things like shop­ping or get­ting my nails done.

Vol­un­teers don’t want to do all of that only to hear how we’re not do­ing the job right, sug­ges­tions on how to do it bet­ter or complaints that we didn’t do enough.

I am so sick of peo­ple who de­light in telling you that you’re not do­ing enough. I can’t save the world, but I can help one per­son each day. Thanks for let­ting me get this off my chest. — SOUND­ING OFF IN TEXAS

DEAR SOUND­ING OFF: You’re wel­come. That’s what I’m here for. I hope writ­ing this has made you feel bet­ter. Now get back to work, be­cause what you do is IM­POR­TANT.

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