While wife’s sex drive races, hus­band is stuck in neu­tral


DEAR ABBY: I’ve been mar­ried al­most four years. My hus­band and I are both barely 40, still quite young, but we have sex only once or twice a month. Our re­la­tion­ship is great, and we love each other. I just wish we had sex more of­ten. I’ve told him I would like more, but it stays the same.

When we talked about past re­la­tion­ships, he men­tioned women hound­ing him to have sex, so I don’t think it’s me. I don’t want to cheat, but I’m afraid I even­tu­ally will if my needs are not met. I don’t want to leave him, but I don’t want an al­most sex­less mar­riage.

He’s a very mas­cu­line man, so I don’t know how to ask him to go to the doc­tor to get some­thing to in­crease his sex drive. Should I do that? Or should I get things to sup­ple­ment our sex, like toys? — NEEDS MORE IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEEDS MORE: You ap­pear to have mar­ried a very mas­cu­line man who has a very low sex drive or who may be bor­der­line asex­ual. If mar­i­tal aids would help you, by all means get some. You should also have a frank talk with your hus­band and sug­gest he con­sult his physi­cian about the dis­crep­ancy in your sex drives.

Mar­riage coun­sel­ing might help to im­prove your level of com­mu­ni­ca­tion, but if none of the above work, you will have to de­cide if you are pre­pared to live with the sit­u­a­tion as it is.

DEAR ABBY: I just stum­bled upon my daugh­ter-in-law’s Twitter ac­count. She has posted half-naked pic­tures, talked about all the drinks she was con­sum­ing, and said that if she didn’t have a child, she’d be gone. The lan­guage she used would make a sailor blush.

I baby-sit for her, and I was shocked, to say the least. I fool­ishly posted a shocked cat on Face­book, stat­ing that “this is me read­ing your Twitter ac­count.”

My son is now up­set with me that I read her Twitter posts. I am not sure he had seen them. I saved them on my com­puter, which he picked up when he was here and ran through my his­tory.

I know I didn’t handle this the right way, but she was saying she starts drink­ing at 7 a.m., and that “moon­shine wasn’t work­ing any­more.” I am truly con­cerned about the baby. What can I do to re­pair this sit­u­a­tion? — SHOCKED IN KEN­TUCKY

DEAR SHOCKED: If that post was pub­lic, then any­one could see it. Your son may be em­bar­rassed that you saw how dys­func­tional his mar­riage is, and that’s why he is mis­di­rect­ing his anger to­ward you rather than where it be­longs.

If your daugh­ter-in-law is drink­ing from the mo­ment she wakes up, she’s in no con­di­tion to be car­ing for a baby. If she is us­ing some­thing stronger, you need to re­mind your son that the child’s wel­fare must come first. If your state­ment is ig­nored, you will have to de­cide whether to in­volve child pro­tec­tive ser­vices.

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