Man de­cries ram­pant false ad­ver­tis­ing on dat­ing sites


DEAR ABBY: I was di­vorced three years ago, and re­cently went on some dat­ing sites to find a pos­si­ble com­pan­ion. All the women I met had posted pho­tos that looked noth­ing like them. It was em­bar­rass­ing. You usu­ally meet in a pub­lic place, so the gen­tle­manly thing to do is con­tinue the en­counter, only to not fol­low up. It would be so much nicer if women posted a re­cent photo/ selfie so that there would be no sur­prises at the first date.

Case in point: I had a date with a lady whose photo showed her to be slim, with black hair. When she showed up she had white hair and she had gained at least 30 pounds. She rec­og­nized me from my pro­file photo, which was re­cent. Be­cause I’m a gen­tle­man, I made no men­tion of the dis­crep­ancy and made the most of our lunch.

I think women would be wise to place a re­cent photo on their pro­file with the cap­tion, “What you see is what you get.” It would elim­i­nate any sur­prises. — DIS­AP­POINTED IN VER­MONT

DEAR DIS­AP­POINTED: I agree that there should be more truth in ad­ver­tis­ing, which is why I’m print­ing your let­ter. How­ever, the same can be said for men who have also been known to fudge the truth about their height and weight, and whose pho­tos fea­ture them wear­ing base­ball caps to hide their bald­ness. There will be a bet­ter out­come and fewer disappointments if the “mo­ment of truth” comes BE­FORE the meet­ing.

DEAR ABBY: I am very frus­trated be­cause my soon-to-be hus­band doesn’t shower of­ten enough. He show­ers about twice a month — and that’s it. I have tried con­vinc­ing him to get in the shower with me as fore­play, but he re­fuses. When I ask him why he won’t shower, he says he show­ers “enough.” He doesn’t seem de­pressed or moody. He just smells re­ally bad — es­pe­cially “down there.”

All of this is re­cent. Be­cause he washes so in­fre­quently, I have be­come less will­ing to have sex­ual con­tact with him. His hy­giene prob­lems are ma­jor. When we first got to­gether, he show­ered daily or at least ev­ery other day. He doesn’t un­der­stand how dis­gusted I am. His be­hav­ior is ex­tremely gross and un­healthy. Help! — THE CLEAN ONE

DEAR CLEAN ONE: You are ab­so­lutely right. Your fi­ance’s poor hy­giene IS ex­tremely gross and un­healthy. He un­der­stands how dis­gusted you are; he just doesn’t care. He cleaned up be­fore be­cause you hadn’t been “wooed and won” yet. He may change in the fu­ture, but not for the bet­ter.

You say this per­son­al­ity change is re­cent. You might be do­ing him a fa­vor to sug­gest that it’s time for a checkup with his doc­tor.

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