Man’s old tryst with wife’s yoga teacher causes strain

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. AN­DREWS MCMEEL SYN­DI­CA­TION

DEAR ABBY: My wife re­cently started a new yoga class she re­ally likes. But I made the mis­take of telling her that the in­struc­tor and I had dated briefly (had sex) when we were around 15. I am 50 now and my wife is 45. I was a pro­mis­cu­ous drunk when I was in high school and col­lege. I have been sober now for 28 years, and we have been to­gether for 22 years. I have not been with an­other woman since I met my wife.

Abby, she treats this sit­u­a­tion as if I cheated on her yes­ter­day, and this was 35 years ago! Also, af­ter she rec­og­nized my wife’s last name, the yoga in­struc­tor told my wife that I broke her heart back then. Help! — HEARTBREAKER

DEAR HEARTBREAKER: You have got­ten your life in or­der, and the yoga in­struc­tor ap­pears to be do­ing well. That she’s 50 and in good enough shape to be teach­ing yoga says a lot for her flex­i­bil­ity. Clearly, nei­ther you nor your old high school class­mate has been try­ing to slip any­thing past your wife. If she re­ally feels threat­ened be­cause of your long-past re­la­tion­ship with her teacher, she should roll up her mat and find an­other class.

DEAR ABBY: We have a lovely grand­daugh­ter who is about to be mar­ried to an ex­cel­lent young man. She is sweet, kind, smart, hard­work­ing, just out of col­lege and ev­ery­thing you would want in a grand­daugh­ter. How­ever, we are deeply con­cerned about her wed­ding, which will have a Wic­can theme, and they are both plan­ning to change to a last name with Wic­can sig­nif­i­cance.

Al­though I’m not pos­i­tive, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t ac­tu­ally fol­low this re­li­gion, but rather re­gards it as an en­ter­tain­ing idea. As a Chris­tian, I’m un­com­fort­able with the theme. Our only choices are to go and make the best of it, or to stay home and have ev­ery­one think we are nar­row­minded old fuddy-dud­dies. What should we do? — CHAL­LENGED IN CAL­I­FOR­NIA

DEAR CHAL­LENGED: I’m glad you asked. Go, make the best of it, and re­frain from mak­ing judg­ments about your lovely, high-achiev­ing grand­daugh­ter’s de­ci­sion about her wed­ding. Her choice of wed­ding theme may or may not be a lark. How­ever, if it isn’t, Wicca is a peace­ful re­li­gion. Wic­cans do not prac­tice black magic. She will still be the same lovely girl af­ter the wed­ding as she was be­fore.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law didn’t get me a card or even wish me Happy Mother’s Day on my very first one. We got to­gether to cel­e­brate, so I don’t think she for­got. I thought we had a pretty good re­la­tion­ship, but now I’m not so sure.

Is there a nice way to ask her why she didn’t get me a card or even say, “Happy Mother’s Day”? I’d like to be able to apol­o­gize if she’s har­bor­ing a grudge for some rea­son. — NEW MOM IN TEN­NESSEE

DEAR NEW MOM: Some­times it’s not what you say, but the way you say it that can cre­ate ten­sion. I sug­gest that when you ap­proach your MIL about this, you do it with a smile and say, “I was sur­prised when you didn’t wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. Why was that?” Then LIS­TEN. ●

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