Woman feels steam­rolled by in-laws in home

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. AN­DREWS MCMEEL SYN­DI­CA­TION

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws live in an apart­ment above our garage. It wasn’t my idea. It was a com­pro­mise with my hus­band.

They now want to move Grandma into a trailer in our back­yard! I am to­tally against it, and have voiced my opin­ion loudly.

My hus­band is stressed out and isn’t ca­pa­ble of say­ing no to his par­ents. I have a feel­ing they are go­ing to move for­ward with this plan re­gard­less of my ob­jec­tions. I feel com­pletely dis­re­spected in my own home. Any ad­vice? — DIS­RE­SPECTED IN OHIO

DEAR DIS­RE­SPECTED: You have a right to be re­spected in your home. If you don’t want it turned into a “fam­ily com­pound,” that’s your pre­rog­a­tive. Put your foot down and tell your hus­band that his par­ents liv­ing there was all the com­pro­mise you are willing to make. If he can’t sum­mon the strength to tell his par­ents “NO!” then you will have to do it for him. If that doesn’t put a stop to it, ask a re­spected friend or re­li­gious ad­viser to me­di­ate.

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band and I en­dured months of try­ing and mul­ti­ple trips to a spe­cial­ist be­fore we fi­nally con­ceived our daugh­ter. My due date was Dec. 23, and I wor­ried through­out my preg­nancy that she would be born on Christ­mas Day. Low and be­hold, on Christ­mas Eve I went into la­bor and our pre­cious baby girl joined us early Christ­mas morn­ing.

Look­ing back now, I wouldn’t change a thing. I know it’s silly to worry be­cause we have a happy, healthy baby girl and feel very blessed and lucky. But how can I re­spond to peo­ple — strangers in­cluded — when they say how “sad” it is that my daugh­ter was born on Christ­mas and that she will get stiffed on presents, and maybe I should have timed my preg­nancy bet­ter? — BLESSED IN NEW YORK

DEAR BLESSED: If any­one is so in­sen­si­tive as to im­ply that you should have timed your preg­nancy dif­fer­ently, per­haps you could put them in their place by re­spond­ing that you feel lucky to have got­ten preg­nant at all. Then tell them you wouldn’t change a thing be­cause be­ing born on Christ­mas Day puts her in good com­pany.

And as to her be­ing “stiffed” when it comes to re­ceiv­ing presents, con­sider do­ing what other par­ents have done: Choose a date in June and cel­e­brate her HALF-birth­day.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man. My friend “Brian” and I have known each other for 10 years. We dated for a while, but re­al­ized we are bet­ter off as friends. We have lived to­gether for the past sev­eral years and are now con­sid­er­ing get­ting mar­ried be­cause my job has bet­ter ben­e­fits. My ques­tion is, is a mar­riage of con­ve­nience le­gal? — GO­ING TO THE CHAPEL?

DEAR GO­ING: Mar­riages of con­ve­nience have been hap­pen­ing since the in­sti­tu­tion of mar­riage was in­vented. That said, how­ever, this is a ques­tion you should ad­dress to a lawyer to make sure that if you de­cide to marry Brian, you’ll be go­ing to the chapel in­stead of go­ing to the hoosegow for in­sur­ance fraud.

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