Man seems to be a friend only when he needs a hand

The Washington Times Daily - - LIFE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN ● Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. AN­DREWS MCMEEL SYN­DI­CA­TION

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band has been so­called friends with a man I’ll call “Roy” for al­most 30 years. Dur­ing the 23 years I have been in the pic­ture, I have no­ticed their friend­ship seems one-sided.

We hear from Roy only when he’s down on his luck or needs help mov­ing or lift­ing some­thing. Last year he be­gan dat­ing some­one new. He has had many girl­friends and we have not met a third of them. Since this courtship be­gan, Roy has changed his num­ber at least four times, and each time, my hus­band has had to call around to get his sup­pos­edly best friend’s phone num­ber.

Well, Roy pro­posed (for the first time ever) to this girl­friend. About a week later he texted my hus­band a photo of the ring with the cap­tion: “She said yes, and you are the best man!” That was over a year ago. My hus­band still hasn’t met the fi­ancee. But other friends of theirs have been in­vited on out­ings and met her dur­ing the year.

I feel Roy is us­ing my hus­band be­cause he knows he makes de­cent money and can come through to fund all the best man du­ties. I don’t want my hus­band to keep play­ing the fool. Is this nor­mal friend be­hav­ior? — PRO­TEC­TIVE IN MIS­SOURI

DEAR PRO­TEC­TIVE: No, it’s not. Your hus­band’s “best friend” ap­pears to be a user. From where I sit, he is be­ing treated more as a re­li­able re­source than a friend, let alone a “best” friend. How­ever, after 30 years, your spouse may be so ac­cus­tomed to it that he doesn’t know the dif­fer­ence. How sad.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago I met the un­touch­able Ice Prince Charm­ing and some­how man­aged to snatch him up a few months ago. But now that he has “de­frosted” and we’re start­ing to set­tle into a re­la­tion­ship, I’m re­al­iz­ing that my “prince” is a bit too charm­ing.

This may sound nuts, but I’m get­ting sick from all the sug­ary sweet af­fec­tion all the time, and I can’t get him to an­swer any­thing for him­self. It’s al­ways, “It doesn’t mat­ter, as long as I’m with you. It doesn’t mat­ter, you’re bet­ter/your opin­ion is bet­ter. You’re so great, amaz­ing, cute, etc. Love you, our kids will be so cute, I wanna marry you, etc.” And noth­ing else. He won’t even let me com­pli­ment him.

We used to have in­tel­lec­tual ar­gu­ments, dumb com­pe­ti­tions, talk all night about fun things we wanted to do one day or just sit around and snark at each other when we weren’t go­ing at our some­times sep­a­rate hob­bies. I know all ev­ery girl wants is her boyfriend to be sweet, so why does it bother me? Am I crazy? How do I get my best friend back? — UN­USUAL JERSEY GIRL

DEAR JERSEY GIRL: Here’s how. Tell him ex­actly what you have told me. He may be love drunk, but if that doesn’t sober him up, then it may be time to find a prince who’s less charm­ing and bet­ter suited to you.

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