‘Pas On to Oza Pepl’
The Brussels Journal headline of Oct. 25 read, “If Zis Mad You Smil, Please Pas On to Oza Pepl.”
We smiled, and so might you. Without further ado, the recycled gem:
“The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union ratherthanGerman,whichwasthe other possibility.
“As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English.’
“In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c.’ Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
“The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favor of ‘k.’ This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
“Therewillbegrowingpublikenthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f.’ This will make words like fotograf 20 percent shorter.
“In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
“Governments will encourage