‘Pas On to Oza Pepl’

The Washington Times Weekly - - National -

The Brus­sels Jour­nal head­line of Oct. 25 read, “If Zis Mad You Smil, Please Pas On to Oza Pepl.”

We smiled, and so might you. With­out fur­ther ado, the re­cy­cled gem:

“The Euro­pean Com­mis­sion has just an­nounced an agree­ment whereby English will be the of­fi­cial lan­guage of the Euro­pean Union ratherthanGer­man,which­wasthe other pos­si­bil­ity.

“As part of the ne­go­ti­a­tions, the Bri­tish gov­ern­ment con­ceded that English spell­ing had some room for im­prove­ment and has ac­cepted a five-year phase-in plan that would be­come known as ‘Euro-English.’

“In the first year, ‘s’ will re­place the soft ‘c.’ Ser­tainly, this will make the sivil ser­vants jump with joy.

“The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in fa­vor of ‘k.’ This should klear up kon­fu­sion and key­boards kan have one less let­ter.

“Therewil­l­be­grow­ing­pub­liken­thu­si­asm in the sec­ond year when the trou­ble­some ‘ph’ will be re­placed with ‘f.’ This will make words like fo­tograf 20 per­cent shorter.

“In the 3rd year, pub­lik ak­sep­tanse of the new spell­ing kan be ex­pected to reach the stage where more kom­p­likated changes are pos­si­ble.

“Gov­ern­ments will en­cour­age

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