Fly­overs

The Washington Times Weekly - - National -

The cu­rios­ity of our good friend Alan Caruba, founder of the Na­tional Anx­i­ety Cen­ter, is aroused by dis­cus­sion sur­round­ing the birth of a Mex­i­can child, born to Mex­i­can par­ents, on a Mex­i­can air­liner, above Amer­i­can soil.

“Lawyers as­sert that the child is tech­ni­cally Amer­i­can, hav­ing been born over the ter­ri­to­rial area of the United States of Amer­ica,” Mr. Caruba ob­serves. “I live in New Jer­sey where, for decades now, we have been home to large flocks of ‘Canada geese.’

“How­ever, many of th­ese flocks have taken up per­ma­nent res­i­dence in New Jer­sey and have given birth to many ‘Canada geese’ who in turn poop all over New Jer­sey with­out re­gard to ei­ther san­i­tary or en­vi­ron­men­tal reg­u­la­tions. Fre­quently ag­gres­sive, they have been known to chase small chil­dren and dogs from ‘their’ fa­vorite parks and other ar­eas.”

Not that Mr. Caruba wants to claim th­ese pesky birds, but he ar­gues: “If a Mex­i­can new­born child can be ac­corded all the rights and priv­i­leges of be­ing an Amer­i­can cit­i­zen merely for fly­ing over our great na­tion, surely th­ese ‘Canada’ geese should be ac­corded a more proper iden­ti­fi­ca­tion as ‘Amer­i­can’ geese.”

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