Quid­ditch, by golly

The Washington Times Weekly - - National -

For­se­ver­a­lyears,In­sid­e­the­Belt­way has ob­served the mys­te­ri­ous bike-rid­ing­habit­sofPres­i­den­tBush.

Mem­bers of the White House press corps, who reg­u­larly ac- com­pany the pres­i­dent deep into the woods of sub­ur­ban Mary­land or else onto the dusty ter­rain of his Texas ranch, sel­dom if ever ac­tu­ally see Mr. Bush atop a bi­cy­cle.

The big ques­tion is why? Could some­thing se­cre­tive or covert be tak­ing place that doesn’t in­volve two wheels?

For in­stance, did Mr. Bush in 2004 re­ally fall off of a bi­cy­cle and cut his chin, up­per lip, nose, both knees and right hand (when his Demo­cratic op­po­nent, Sen. John Kerry, in­quired: “Did the train­ing wheels fall off?”), or did some­thing more un­usual cause his in­juries?

Was the pres­i­dent ac­tu­ally “en­joy­ing” a bike ride so much dur­ing a ma­jor ter­ror­ist scare in Wash­ing­ton that the Se­cret Ser­vice, or so we were told, didn’t bother to tell him that his own wife, Laura, and Vice Pres­i­dent Dick Cheney had been rushed into a se­cure bunker?

And how about the Sun­day morn­ing not long ago when Mr. Bush’s church at­tire was un­usu­ally “bulky”? Im­me­di­ately af­ter the ser­mon, the pres­i­dent in the space of sec­onds had shed his suit of clothes and ap­peared in a brightly col­ored out­fit that the White House in­sisted was “bike-rid­ing gear.”

“I’ve never seen a man who hasn’t been drink­ing get out of a suit faster,” noted Julie Ma­son of the Hous­ton Chron­i­cle.

Now, we learn of yet an­other bizarretwistin­volvin­gapres­i­den­tial bik­ingtrekover­theJan.6-7week­end. Mr.Bush­had­been­par­tic­i­pating­i­nan “ex­tended” intelligence brief­ing in the Oval Of­fice with his na­tional se­cu­rity team, when sud­denly a half­dozen young men and women showed up dressed in the same color­ful gear worn by Mr. Bush.

The en­tire group, in­clud­ing the pres­i­dent, im­me­di­ately climbed into sev­eral heav­ily pro­tected ve­hi­cles and sped off. But wait, there’s more, dis­cov­ered in the of­fi­cial White House pool re­port:

“Four of them car­ried rakes and brooms along with their rid­ing gear; why they had the rakes and brooms with them was un­clear.”

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