Degra­da­tion U.

The Washington Times Weekly - - Culture, Etc. -

Per­haps this kind of ed­u­ca­tional en­vi­ron­ment will be more pleas­ing to the San­dra Shorts of the world:

Tro­jan [Con­doms] will come to [In­di­ana Uni­ver­sity] from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Dunn Meadow on Wed­nes­day {Sept. 17] as part of its “Evolve” tour. The com­pany is work­ing to ed­u­cate stu­dents about sex­ual health and will pro­vide games and ac­tiv­i­ties – an area where it be­lieves IU could im­prove.

The com­pany ranks uni­ver­si­ties and colleges across the coun­try based on sex­ual health re­sources. A fel­low Big Ten school, the Uni­ver­sity of Min­nesota, got the No. 1 spot in 2007 while IU came in at No. 47.

[Oh, the shame of be­ing listed at No. 47 on a list made up out of thin air by a com­pany sell­ing pro­phy­lac­tics for profit. But, hey, it’s not about the money with th­ese guys]:

Tro­jan spokesman Michael Bruno said the tour grew out of the TV and print com­mer­cials de­pict­ing a pig turn­ing into a man af­ter pur­chas­ing a Tro­jan con­dom. The ads are not shown on prime-time net­work tele­vi­sion.

“It was sort of a creative way to show you need to evolve your sex­ual be­hav­ior,” Bruno said. “It is re­ally de­signed to raise aware­ness of the on­go­ing sex­ual de­cline in this coun­try, re­spect for your­self and your part­ner.”

[Sure the price of a col­lege ed­u­ca­tion has gone through the roof, but you sim­ply can­not top world­class learn­ing ex­pe­ri­ences such as this]:

The most pop­u­lar as­pect of the tour, Bruno said, is the Evolve Re­lay Race. Four stu­dents line up and wear pig ears and snouts. They race to a night stand, pull out a con­dom, run back to the podium, yell out the ex­pi­ra­tion date of the con­dom and pro­ceed to tear off the wrap­per and cor­rectly place the con­dom on a ba­nana. Af­ter po­si­tion­ing the con­dom, the in­di­vid­ual re­moves the pig ears and nose and runs to the mid­dle of the course.

“It’s a lot of fun to see your friends play that game,” Bruno said. “It’s also a way for peo­ple to learn how to cor­rectly use a con­dom in an en­ter­tain­ing way.”

Thank good­ness im­por­tant events like this are wel­come at our pub­lic uni­ver­si­ties across the coun­try. Wouldn’t want the kids to be think­ing about Milton or Shake­speare in­stead.

— “Tro­jan to bring con­doms, ed­u­ca­tion to IU,” posted Sept. 15 on the web­site of the In­di­ana Daily Stu­dent at id­

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