CHANGE HIS STRIPES
The Tiger Woods saga has been politicized as analysts ponder the links of his wife, Elin, to socialism — a phenomenon recently identified by the Daily Beast Web site. Then there are the comedic implications of his marital infidelity. NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” has declared that Mr. Woods’ chronic womanizing has bumped the affairs of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and former presidential hopeful John Edwards right off the news media’s radar.
Now it is time for the prognosticators to have a turn.
Self-described Canadian “mentalist” Blair Robertson — who predicted on Nov. 22 that “Al Gore’s new book will be revealed to have published fraudulent data in 40 days” — says that Mr. Woods will only stay off the fairway for six months, returning to triumphant, competitive play in June.
“He has a long way to go and a grueling challenge ahead of him,” Mr. Robertson explains. “I fearlessly predict that he will repent and turn his life around. I further predict that he’ll not only regain the legendary focus he has in golf, he’ll do everything he possibly can to repair his marriage.”
Mr. Robertson — who also says that the phrase “Merry Christmas” will make a remarkable comeback and replace the politically correct “Happy Holidays” — claims no supernatural powers.
“I’ve been told I’m 87 percent accurate,” he says. “I know that I’m right more than I’m wrong.”