Now that I have to pay for it, it is my busi­ness

The Washington Times Weekly - - Commentary - BY CHARLES HURT

Politi­cians here have not even fig­ured out how yet to im­ple­ment their new law re­quir­ing us to pay for ev­ery­body else’s health care, and al­ready people are clam­or­ing to le­gal­ize drugs that are, at the very least, haz­ardous to their health.

The good people of Colorado and Wash­ing­ton state can now buy and smoke pot with­out vi­o­lat­ing state laws. The move­ment to do so is spread­ing among other states like a hot trop­i­cal virus through a de­ten­tion fa­cil­ity on the Mex­i­can bor­der.

I, for one, have never re­ally cared one way or the other if people choose to smoke pot. My ex­pe­ri­ence is that it ap­pears to make most people dumber and slower. But it also seems to make some people happy and fall asleep, which I view as a real pos­i­tive. Es­pe­cially the part about putting them to sleep.

But I cer­tainly don’t think that my long-de­vel­oped and strongly held views against us­ing drugs should be in­flicted upon other people to whom I have no re­spon­si­bil­ity. Nor do I be­lieve that some­one else’s de­vo­tion to a weed pipe in any way im­pinges upon some high morals or pre­cious views that I might hold.

I don’t like cats. But I don’t want to out­law cats.

Here is the thing that re­ally both­ers me now. Go ahead and smoke all the dope you want to. But why is it that I have to now pay these people’s health care bills, which are go­ing to be much higher now that it is le­gal for them and their chil­dren to suck dan­ger­ous car­cino­gens down their wind­pipes?

With all the cat­er­waul­ing we have heard for years from the nanny state do-good­ers over the dan­gers of smok­ing tobacco and eat­ing crappy food, where is the ou­trage now? There may be plenty of de­bate about whether smok­ing mar­i­juana is more dan­ger­ous than smok­ing tobacco. But no­body who isn’t a hope­less pot­head is ar­gu­ing it is less dan­ger­ous.

Al­ready, stud­ies show a rise in potre­lated fa­tal car wrecks in Colorado.

Where are you, Michael Bloomberg? Why isn’t the first lady don­ning span­dex and jump­ing up and down about this? Let’s move!

It is the same rea­son we are now forced to know all about this out­fit called Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby is a small, arts and crafts chain store run by Chris­tians who, shock­ingly, have re­li­gious views on such topics as when hu­man life be­gins.

The Supreme Court has is­sued a very mi­nor and limited rul­ing on an ob­scure is­sue say­ing that, no, the govern­ment can­not force Chris­tian em­ploy­ers to pay for birth con­trol that de­stroys hu­man em­bryos — an act that, ac­cord­ing to their re­li­gious be­liefs, is mur­der.

War on women! How dare the Supreme Court and the federal govern­ment in­vade the bath­rooms and bed­rooms of Amer­i­can women!

Let us not for­get that the only rea­son the Supreme Court and all the rest of us are in this predica­ment is be­cause we got forced into the bath­room at knife­point when politi­cians passed a law mak­ing us pay for ev­ery­body else’s health care!

It re­ally is a vin­tage Wash­ing­ton com­pro­mise.

This ever-com­pro­mis­ing lot of rot­ten politi­cians have once again man­aged to con­sider both sides of the po­lit­i­cal spec­trum and pick the very worst as­pects from both sides.

From the left, they picked end­less spend­ing and morally haz­ardous poli­cies that en­cour­age bad be­hav­ior. And from the right, they picked in­suf­fer­able mor­al­iz­ing by forc­ing tax­pay­ers into sud­denly car­ing very deeply about what ev­ery­body else is do­ing be­hind closed doors in their bed­rooms, bath­rooms and base­ments.

It is just what hap­pens when the govern­ment forces people to pay for ev­ery­body else’s health care. Tax­pay­ers sud­denly have a real in­vest­ment in other people’s bad habits. Sud­denly, we have to sully our­selves with the busi­ness of how other people flush their hot mis­takes from their fetid wombs.

Now a jack­ass do­ing wheel­ies down the high­way on his mo­tor­cy­cle with fire­crack­ers hang­ing out of his pants and an in­fected nose ring dan­gling down over his greasy goa­tee is sud­denly my busi­ness. I am forced to hope it is just a clean kill and the meat wagon car­ries him di­rectly to the fu­neral home.

I am not mor­al­iz­ing here. It is just plain and sim­ple math­e­mat­ics, now that I am pay­ing the bills.

Charles Hurt can be reached at, and on Twit­ter @charleshurt.

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