Long live Pres­i­dent Trumpopov!

The Washington Times Weekly - - Commentary - BY CHARLES HURT

You don’t have to be a sea­soned Krem­li­nol­o­gist steeped in the chi­canery of klepto-thugoc­ra­cies to re­al­ize that Amer­ica re­ally dodged a bul­let in last year’s pres­i­den­tial elec­tion. Of course, the me­dia is presently in to­tal melt­down upon learn­ing of emails in­di­cat­ing that Don­ald Trump Jr. wanted his fa­ther to win the elec­tion and was so sleazy as to ac­tu­ally meet with some­one (a lawyer from Rus­sia!) who sup­pos­edly had dirt on his fa­ther’s op­po­nent, Hil­lary Clin­ton.

My good­ness, the Trumps have re­ally sul­lied pol­i­tics in this coun­try!

The Clin­tons would NEVER search for dirt against a po­lit­i­cal op­po­nent. Just ask Bernie San­ders, Vince Fos­ter or Barack Obama. (The con­ver­sa­tion with one of those three would be a tri­fle one-sided.) Or Mon­ica Lewin­sky!

And if they ever did ac­ci­den­tally stum­ble upon the dirt of an op­po­nent, the Clin­tons would be TO­TALLY forth­com­ing about it when asked about it. It is the Clin­ton way. Just ask Ken Starr.

And, fa­mously, Pres­i­dent Obama would never stoop so low as to al­low the world’s most pow­er­ful es­pi­onage ap­pa­ra­tus to spy on his po­lit­i­cal op­po­nents — ex­cept for all the times he did. In the past year. That we know about.

Nat­u­rally, these ex­plo­sive new emails from Don Jr. leaked out of the sup­pos­edly se­cret and “in­de­pen­dent” fed­eral in­ves­ti­ga­tion into Pres­i­dent Don­ald Trumpopov and all his Rus­sian con­nec­tions, in­clud­ing — but not limited to — his fa­vorite salad dress­ing, his highly se­cret Miss Uni­verse pageant, the world’s best tea cakes, his nest­ing doll col­lec­tion, any and all tchotchkes in his of­fice and ev­ery dog-eared copy of John Le Carre and Tom Clancy nov­els that are stacked on the shelves of the “Li­brary Rooms” at all of Mr. Trumpopov’s var­i­ous re­sorts.

Need­less to say, this in­ves­ti­ga­tion could — and likely will — go on for­ever. I have just rewrit­ten my will to di­rect any fi­nan­cial gifts to be made to the Trumpopov De­fense Fund, which, in the year 2060, will still be fil­ing briefs and ex­pla­na­tions about the “White Rus­sian” Corey Le­wandowski or­dered from the lobby bar of the Trump Ho­tel nine days be­fore the elec­tion.

But that does not mean that sup­pos­edly re­spon­si­ble of­fi­cials in po­si­tions of author­ity won’t go ahead and spec­u­late at length about the on­go­ing, un­fin­ished, al­legedly se­cret in­ves­ti­ga­tion.

“The in­ves­ti­ga­tion — it’s not, noth­ing is proven yet — but we’re now be­yond ob­struc­tion of jus­tice in terms of what’s be­ing in­ves­ti­gated,” Sen. Tim Kaine, Vir­ginia Demo­crat, de­clared to breath­less re­porters Tues­day. “This is mov­ing into per­jury, false state­ments and even, po­ten­tially, trea­son.”

First of all, Mr. Kaine, you lost a cam­paign to Don­ald Trump. You re­ally should go home. If that doesn’t tell you all you need to know about how ter­ri­ble you are at your job, then you are even more hope­less than we thought.

A guy who has never run for pub­lic of­fice, was caught nu­mer­ous times on tape say­ing the most im­politic things pos­si­ble, and he beats you at your own game? Wow.

Take a cue from Hil­lary Clin­ton: Re­tire. Find a new line of work. This one, ap­par­ently, is not your strong suit. Even Democrats agree with that now.

But let’s eval­u­ate your state­ment at face value, Mr. Kaine. The only true thing you said is: “noth­ing is proven yet.” That is cor­rect. You should have shut up after that.

This whole hyper­ven­ti­lat­ing me­dia drive-by in­ves­ti­ga­tion is noth­ing more than pure hys­te­ria, the phan­tom pain from hav­ing lost ev­ery­thing — when you were so, so cer­tain that you would win ev­ery­thing.

But, Mr. Kaine, be­ing the dolt that you are, you won’t re­tire and can’t shut up.

So you de­clare pub­licly that the sup­pos­edly se­cret in­ves­ti­ga­tion has gone from one thing to some­thing else, up to and in­clud­ing “trea­son.”

Trea­son???? You mean that lit­tle thing folks get hanged for? Like, as in, the death penalty?

So here we are on the heels of an elec­tion dur­ing which the last pres­i­dent’s ad­min­is­tra­tion spied on po­lit­i­cal op­po­nents who were cam­paign­ing for the White House.

And now — in the bit­ter­ness of de­feat — one of the chief losers of that cam­paign — who some­how still holds a po­si­tion of po­lit­i­cal author­ity — de­clares that the in­ves­ti­ga­tion into the pres­i­dent is so se­ri­ous that the fir­ing squad should be fix­ing bay­o­nets.

Yes, this is how bad things had be­come around here. The po­lit­i­cal es­tab­lish­ment is now so lazy, self-serv­ing and en­trenched that spy­ing on po­lit­i­cal op­po­nents and sug­gest­ing they be put do death is only nat­u­ral for them. This is just how things work in a klepto-thugogracy.

Long live Pres­i­dent Trumpopov! Charles Hurt can be reached at churt@wash­ing­ton­times. com and on Twit­ter by @charleshurt.

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