AN­GRY IN­TERNS

Transworld Snowboarding - - CONTENTS - AN­GRY IN­TERNS // WORDS BILL LONEY

When I took this in­tern­ship, traf­fic was sim­ply what I sat in ev­ery morn­ing hop­ing my ’89 Geo Metro wouldn’t stall. It turns out they’ve got an­other def­i­ni­tion around here. Be­cause of it, I’ve been tasked with post­ing all types of stuff I couldn’t care less about, in at­tempt to ap­pease the in­sa­tiable in­ter­net.

Some over-crowded moun­tain in Colorado got two feet of snow? Doesn’t mat­ter to me. I’ll be right here at the card­board box that serves as my desk. Oh, the Farmer’s Almanac said the en­tire coun­try is go­ing to have a bad win­ter? But the Old Farmer’s Almanac says it’s go­ing to be good? Who are these farm­ers any­way? Some­one took a GoPro video of their two-year-old on a snow­board? That’ll be great to show the fam­ily at Thanksgiving, but does the whole world need to see it? Prob­a­bly not. I grew up read­ing mag­a­zines be­cause they made snow­board­ing look cool; weather posts and ba­bies snow­board­ing don’t. Some dork on a light-up snow­board cer­tainly isn’t help­ing ei­ther.

But if traf­fic is an in­di­ca­tor of in­ter­est in 2018—and trust me, af­ter sit­ting through my fourth SEO meet­ing this week I can tell you it is—neon man at night is beat­ing the pants off the rider who put an en­tire win­ter into film­ing a three-minute video part.

You see, be­fore the in­ter­net sunk its dirty dig­i­tal claws into snow­board­ing—long be­fore I had this de­ceit­fully dis­ap­point­ing gig—me­dia dic­tated what kind of snow­board­ing its au­di­ence saw. Now it seems it’s of­ten the other way around. Roles have been re­versed. Ev­ery one of your clicks is a vote. And when the prover­bial polls in­di­cate that a half-assed post on the lat­est storm or ex­treme tod­dler is what the peo­ple want, well, that’s what they’re go­ing to get. I’m told traf­fic is what helps pay for the stuff that makes snow­board­ing look cool. So if that video a par­ent made in a Sun­day af­ter­noon sub­si­dizes the lack of clicks on some­thing a worth­while rider ded­i­cated their whole sea­son to, well, I guess it’s go­ing up.

So if you’re as fed up as I am, I urge you, please vote with your clicks. Skip the baby snow­board­ing and watch a full part or read an in­ter­view. If not for snow­board­ing’s sake, do it for mine. It’s hard enough…

Please ex­cuse me, it turns out I’ve got a new video of a three-year old snow­board­ing in a four-foot storm to post.

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