SENSE & SEN­SI­TIV­ITY

Walker County Messenger - - Sports -

Par­ent con­cerned about daugh­ter’s posts

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old daugh­ter is very ac­tive on so­cial media. Snapchat is her medium of choice. I’m on Face­book and In­sta­gram but not Snapchat. I re­cently learned that she and her girl­friends have been post­ing photos of them­selves ask­ing if they are cute. My “source” told me some of the posts are mean about other peo­ple, and some are kind.

I am con­cerned my daugh­ter is get­ting caught up in ap­pear­ances as well as in how other peo­ple per­ceive her. How can I help her con­tinue to cul­ti­vate pos­i­tive self-es­teem when she is al­ready ques­tion­ing her at­trac­tive­ness in a so­cial media space? -- Cul­ti­vat­ing Self-Es­teem, Los Angeles

DEAR CUL­TI­VAT­ING SELF-ES­TEEM: The good news is that you have a source you can trust to help you fig­ure out what your daugh­ter is do­ing. As hard as you may try, you will likely not be able to stay on top of which media out­lets at­tract your daugh­ter’s and her friends’ at­ten­tion.

I rec­om­mend that you not re­veal your source. In­stead, keep that person in place to mon­i­tor your daugh­ter’s com­mu­ni­ca­tions. With your daugh­ter, work to keep a level of con­fi­dence in your re­la­tion­ship. If you can cre­ate a safe space where the two of you talk about life, friend­ships, boys -- ev­ery­thing -- you will have a bet­ter chance of in­flu­enc­ing her de­ci­sions. FYI: Tak­ing away her phone or ban­ning her from so­cial media would only be a tem­po­rary fix. Trust is a much stronger force in guid­ing your daugh­ter’s steps.

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